How to Keep Him Interested with Text Messages

A man’s interest can waver—sometimes seemingly inexplicably—but there are tricks to make sure he stays interested. Here's how text messages can help.

Is it just by magic that some women manage to keep a man interested while others don’t? Nope. There are some tried and tested techniques that work—given you have a genuine spark with someone, of course.

If you’ve met, you’ve started texting and that spark is there, these are the tips to follow.

Be Confident


Yeah, your ex might have been a douche, your last flirt might have let you down and last night’s date with that other guy really did not go well. That doesn’t mean you aren’t great though. Honor and appreciate yourself because no matter what you say in text messages, this will shine through.

Remember: no one will buy something in a store unless they believe it has value. The same goes for men. You won’t get the guy unless you think you have value.

Men and Desperation

If a guy so much as senses any level of desperation, he will disappear.

So bear this in mind: you’re auditioning a guy to see if he is going to treat you well, take care of you and fit into your life. i.e. you’re checking to see if you’re both heading in the same direction in life.

Remember the thing about value? If you give your heart away too soon, the guy will think that you don’t value yourself and he will immediately seize to value you.

How Text Messages Play into Value and Desperation

Here’s the first thing you need to know: to show that you have value, you have to show that you have a life. That means that when your phone buzzes, you don’t always pick it up immediately. Why? You’re busy living your fabulous life.

I don’t mean that you should never respond to a text straight away. What I mean is that if you always respond to texts straight away, he will get a sense that you don’t have a life. He might not think as much, but it will act as a turn off.

Also, by not always responding immediately, it gives you time a) to do other things that will stop you from losing your head to the guy too soon and b) to consider your reply. Most times, we reply instinctively and it doesn’t always bring about the best results.

If something requires a prompt reply, then reply straightaway—same goes if you are in the middle of a conversation with him. However, if you’re at work or out with friends, focus on what’s at hand, then reply.

Think of text messages as bon-bons—savor them before you reply.

Show You’re Interested

While you want to leave room for doubt by showing that you are taking your time to decide whether you really like this guy or not (and for your own sake you should), you also have to hint at your interest. Flirt with the guy. Compliment him. Give his ego (or preferably: heart) a bit of a boost. Men like feeling good so make him feel good. Otherwise, why would he want to be with you?

There’s a difference between showing you’re interested and going overboard though. Remember: while you can tell him he’s attractive in one way or another, or praise his skills, you don’t yet know if you want to be with him. Even if you know the guy already, you don’t know what he’d be like in a relationship with you. It’s only your imagination telling you that you know.

Show that You Need Him


This is one of those controversial things in this modern day and age as feminism has brainwashed women into thinking that they must never confess to needing a man. But you do, right? Isn’t it nice to have friends to rely on for certain things? Of course. Just as it’s nice to have a man to rely on for certain things.

That’s not to say that you become needy. That’s completely different. You don’t need a guy to validate you or to make you happy in yourself, but if your man has bigger muscles than you, it would maybe be nice if he carried your luggage to the airport. If he’s really good at math, it’d be nice if he could help you with that excel sheet you’ve been putting off? If he’s done well professionally, maybe it’d be nice if you acknowledged that and let him feel proud for paying for your meal?

The thing is, men have what Mathew Hussey says in his 9 Texts Guide a “provide and protect” drive. They want to protect you. They want to feel needed by you. They want you to feel safe around them. They just don’t want you to need them to feel good about yourself.

Use Innuendo

Once you’ve talked for a while (I mean days, not hours), you can use a bit of innuendo. “Oh, sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower…” Again, make sure you’re not giving him anything; he has to work for that and that’s even further down the line. Just hint.

It’s important that you do things step-by-step. If you start with innuendo or (horrors) naked pics, you end with nothing because you gave him the prize before he fought for it and proved himself worthy of it.

Take things step-by-step.


A sense of humor helps. By that, I don’t mean to write jokes from a joke book. I mean use your specific sense of humor.

That said, don’t turn everything into a joke or sarcasm—and don’t write “haha” or “LOL” at the end of everything.

“I wouldn’t mind spending some time with you… LOL” Uh? “LOL” just ruined the flirting because there’s nothing funny about spending time with him. Is there? If you say something, don’t always try to “soften it up” by adding a LOL by the end of it. Show that you stand for what you say.

Challenge Him


Men live for the chase. You have to give them just enough encouragement to keep running after you. This is why you are sometimes busy when they ask you out for a date or sometimes don’t reply to a text straight away. As I always say: a man should not be given priority until he’s proven himself worthy of it. If you do, chances are he will run because he will sense you don’t value yourself. Consequently, he won’t value you.

To have fun with a guy, challenge him in your texts. He wants something from you? Ask him to give you something in return. He wants to take you out on a date? Say that it depends on what kind of date. As Matthew Hussey also says, men live for maybe. Give him maybe.

Don’t play silly games, but do have fun. Play together.

Dating is about playing. About playing together to find out if you are a match. It will take some time to figure out if a guy is really worth it to get serious with. So take your time to figure it out. Don’t sell yourself short.

But, did you know that you can completely enchant him just by sending him certain text messages that have been proven again and again to work miracles in any relationship? When I saw this story on Rachel Ray show I was completely shocked, but then I read that book they were talking about and it really worked! Why don’t you check it out for yourself?

Let us know how you keep him interested via text messages by commenting down below. We’d love to hear your opinion.

About the author

Maria Montgomery

Writer. Social Entrepreneur. Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…

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