Personal Development

How to Be a Lady: Be Proud of Who You Are

how to be a lady
Cat fights, jealousy outbreaks, backstabbing and gossiping, is that really what women are all about? Of course not, we can all learn how to be a lady if we try.

Have you ever seen a woman walk into a room with a cat like grace, whilst holding her head up high? A woman who dares to be kind and vulnerable, but can hold her own? The one who’s courageous, yet humble? A woman who, you know as soon as you see her, is a lady?

Scantily clad or naked women have become main-stream in the media. We face photoshopped images of so called beauty. We read articles about women who seem to gain media points based on how much of a fool they made themselves out to be at the latest party in Hollywood. We read about cat fights and back stabbing.

Drugs make the headlines. Jealous women who throw tantrums as soon as their guy looks the other way seem to attract readers to a magazine. But is that really what men want? Is it what us, women, want to be like? It’s probably not.

People may be drawn to someone outrageous, but they want to be friends with someone kind hearted and humble, yet charismatic and strong. A man might be lured into a relationship with a crazy woman with sex appeal, but he will be mesmerized by a lady who stays in control and still manages to seduce him. Read on to find out how to be a lady.

A lady is polite

elegant couple at the airport

No, chivalry is not out of fashion, and if you expect it from a guy, then the least you can do as a woman is to be polite.

If you have to let someone down, do so politely. It’s not cool walking all over someone’s emotions, no matter how crazy you think they are, whether in business or in life. Always act as who you truly want to be and how you want to be perceived, in whatever situation. Don’t let the situation define you. Rise above it. Act with tact and politeness.

Always say please and thank you, and give a compliment if you can – you have no idea how many meetings it will bring you in business, especially if it’s delivered with sufficient charm.

Go out of your way to thank someone who has helped you and always reply to messages; not necessarily straight away. Even if your reply is short, make it courteous.

A lady knows when to say no

A lady does not agree to the things she doesn’t want to. She stands up for her values and morals. Respect is gained when someone defends what they believe in, whilst, at the same time, acknowledging that others may feel differently about it.

This applies mostly to peer pressure – people often think they have to do something to be accepted, but it’s the people who stand up for who they truly are who gain a lot more respect. A lady gains respect.

Always remember that a lady wants to be loved and respected for who she is, not to be someone she is not.

A lady doesn’t agree to what doesn’t please her

A lady does not do things to please others, unless she feels she truly wants to do so. She doesn’t give up her virginity or her time just to please someone else.

A lady gives to others

There is something about a woman who can stand strong on her own two feet, yet give to others. Someone who isn’t needy, who doesn’t give to receive, but rather chooses to give for her own pleasure.

Most renowned ladies in the public eye are involved in charity. When people give selflessly there is something about them that is different. It’s as if they have a glow to them. This is very different from giving because you seek love, monetary gain, or praise in return. It’s done for the pure pleasure of seeing someone happy, or changing the world for the better.

This is how a lady gives.

A lady does not berate others

blake lively style gossip girl

Gossip Girl may have taken the world by storm, but is there anything nicer in real life than a woman who does not succumb to berating others?

A lady, even if she dislikes someone, does not take pleasure in spending time discussing how much she abhors them. Rather, she gets on with her life and makes the best out of every situation. She does not spread evil gossip, nor publicly seek to humiliate anyone. She does not need to show she’s good by putting others down. She already knows her own value.

A lady sticks to her word

Yes, flaky is a national epidemic. Being hard to get is a term most women apply. But is there anything nicer than a lady who sticks to her word? A woman who shows she has a life, shows she has time constraints because she puts herself first, yet easily communicates and sticks to what she says?

This also means a lady does not give her word easily – she thinks first.

A lady knows how to discuss without arguing

Cat fights seems to be in fashion. Sensationalism in general sells. A lady though, does not argue just to be seen. She holds her own in a discussion. She listens to what others have to say, she doesn’t just obstinately hold on to an opinion, but rather processes what she is told, thinks about it and then replies.

She doesn’t let herself be bullied into agreeing with things she does not either. She stands firm, yet is detached enough from her own opinions to be able to process new information and change her mind, should she learn more and form an even better opinion.

A lady isn’t scared of being wrong

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone gets their stilettos stuck in the cobblestone streets sometimes. A lady can smile, even laugh at her mistakes. She is happy in her own skin and owns everything she does.

A lady never pretends that it was someone else making her mistake; she honors her flaws, yet realizes she can move beyond them.

A lady knows how to dress for any occasion

beautiful floral dress

Whilst a lady might want to break certain rules at times and show her more rebellious or playful side, she will not dress just to be the center of attention, or lose an inch off the skirt just to appease her ego by having men stare at her.

No, a true lady knows how to exude beauty. She has to choose clothes that bring out her charms, yet also know that there is no competition, each woman is unique and should be praised for her individual beauty.

A lady behaves…well, most of the time

As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said: “Well-behaved women seldom make history,” but a lady should still know how to behave well enough to break the rules in just the right way. She acts responsibly, considering others, whilst also allowing herself to be who she is and be playful. She never lets rules that should never have been in her way stop her, nor does she break rules just to provoke, or gain attention.

A lady appreciates when someone does something for her

A lady doesn’t just say thank you if someone goes out of their way to help her, or compliment her; she says thank you like she means it, because she does.

Likewise, if a man likes her, she appreciates that he cares enough to show that. She might not feel the same way about him, but that doesn’t mean she can’t appreciate that he has feelings for her.

A lady knows that something exists beyond what she knows

A lady never pretends to know what she does not. She listens, she learns, she isn’t scared to voice her opinion, but she never pretends she knows about things she doesn’t. Better to be honest than be taken for a fool when saying something which is either not relevant, or misses the mark entirely.

Sarah Pallin is a good example of what not to do. Don’t say you know foreign politics because you can see Russia from where you live. But as a lady would point out – even Sarah Pallin has her better sides and more importantly: she has a heart somewhere in there.

A lady travels

beautiful woman sitting and looking santorini coast

To really get perspective and understand how many different ways of living there are, one has to keep an open mind and one has to travel. One has to mentally travel into someone else’s shoes to be able to understand their life, but they also have to physically travel to experience what is beyond that which they have seen previously.

A lady keeps an open mind; realizing that people who have been through different experiences than her will have a different worldview.

A lady educates herself

Before going somewhere, or meeting someone, a lady finds out as much as possible. Not unlike coming to a job interview prepared, having researched the company beforehand. A lady does not show up without first researching where she is going, or the people she is meeting. She shows a genuine interest in the things she does and the people she meets.

A lady listens

A lady does not speak over others, nor does she constantly try to interrupt them. She genuinely listens to what they have to say, and does her best to understand their point of view. When people talk, she isn’t just waiting for her chance to say something, she is finding out what others want to say first. She’s curious about people and wants to learn as much as possible about them.

A lady has grace

A lady learns how to walk in her high heels properly. She’s aware enough of her surroundings to not knock people and things over when she moves. Her movements are confident, yet graceful. You can see her heart and kindness through her movements, but also her strength and determination.

She holds her head up high and keeps her back straight.

A lady does not let herself be intimidated

Many seek to intimidate other people. A lady knows that this is a foolish game, and is able to step beyond it and ignore it.

A lady smiles

angelina jolie smiling

There is nothing quite as charming as a woman who can smile genuinely. It will welcome others to approach her, and make them feel comfortable in her presence.

A lady does not swear

Whilst a four letter word can slip out of a well-behaved person’s mouth, a lady does not seek to use profanities to get attention, nor does she use them in everyday language. She uses language to her advantage.

A lady has table manners

Burping loudly, or just mixing up which knife is used for what is not ladylike. A lady respects tradition and seeks to educate herself about it. She knows what glass is for which beverage and dines with grace. She does not over or under eat, nor does she get drunk. She wants to stay aware enough to be able to entertain those around her and also enjoy their company.

A lady knows how to entertain

A lady knows the etiquettes of throwing a great dinner party, or a regular party. She learns what the role of a hostess entails and takes pride in creating events where people can enjoy their time together.

Likewise, a lady knows to always offer something to drink and a snack if she receives visitors of any kind.

A lady is helpful

A true lady will help an old man cross the street. She will stop to pick up what someone else accidentally dropped. She will listen when someone is down and needs someone to hold their hand or hug them.

A lady respects other people’s personal space

There is nothing worse than someone trying to stand too close to you, or who walks into a private conversation, trying to overtake it. A lady knows this and respects it.

Also, when visiting someone’s home, a lady does not make a mess. She respects the rules of the household, so long as they do not oppose her own personal values, and she is gracious and kind to her host or hostess. She is grateful for them having invited her into their house.

A lady doesn’t play games; she seduces

A lady knows just how much to give to a man to leave him wanting more. She does not sell herself short, nor does she play games. She simply invites a man to woo her and watches to see if he’s truly what she wants; if he’s prepared to put himself on the line for her. She encourages and teases, but she doesn’t give in until she knows he’s worth it.

She gains his respect by being honest and caring; without being needy. She recognizes she’s a gift to any man and will not have someone who treats her as less. Of course, she will also be there for her man in whatever he does; she will be supportive and have his back.

Are you already a lady, or aspiring to become one? Either way, you’re on the right track. Do you think there is more to being a lady? If so, share your opinion in the comment section.

About the author

Maria Montgomery

Writer. Social Entrepreneur. Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…

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