Fifty Shades of Grey has become a worldwide phenomenon. Now granted, it’s a good story, but let’s be honest with each other: It’s all about the sex. We women LOVE to read hot sex stories, which is exactly why there are so many of them out there.
Of course, in the real world, there’s a good chance we don’t get the exciting sex we read about. In fact, many of us have no idea what toys to bring into the bedroom or how to use them.
I have done some research (okay, I’ve used a lot of these toys and know what I’m talking about) and have picked out some of the most popular and most tantalizing ways to change your sex from vanilla to Fifty Shades of Grey sex. Here are the toys you don’t want to miss!
Rope can be used for many things. There are even some fetishes that are exclusively about the binding and knotting of rope around a woman’s body. In the role of sex play, rope is especially good for binding your hands and feet to the bedpost.
You can go spread eagle, have your hands together or arms spread apart, have your legs together or spread apart…use your imagination!
There are a couple of important things you and your lover need to remember, however. It is imperative the rope is not so tight that it cuts off your circulation. You also need to be able to get out of the knot if necessary. In other words, rope as binding is more visual than physical so use it gently.
When you choose your rope, choose something strong, yet smooth. String is painful (it will cut off your circulation because it’s too thin), and rope with loose fibers will dig into your skin and hurt. There are special ropes out there in sex shops meant to be used for bondage play and are silky, smooth, and perfect for this. Get your rope from a sex shop, not something you find in the garage.
If you want to forgo the rope, use a pair of nylon or silk stockings instead. All the same rules apply.
Handcuffs are excellent for binding your hands and they are meant to make you immobile. In my experience, handcuffs with fur lining are much more comfortable than metal cuffs and they don’t dig into your skin.
Also, when you use handcuffs, get a pair that doesn’t need a key (the kind that has a locking mechanism attached already). If you must have a key, make sure you have the key on the nightstand beside you so you don’t lose it! Nobody wants the locksmith called for that reason.
Blindfolds can be used with or without other bondage and they really enhance the sensations you feel during sex. You don’t have to get fancy with the blindfold; a good sleep mask will do the trick.
Shoes are one of the most visually appealing aspects of sex for men. They love to see the way heels lift our asses, enhance our calves, and make us taller (and therefore more empowering). If you want to be the dominant one tonight, don’t forget to wear a pair of stilettos. There are so many ways to turn him on with a good pair of heels.
Of course, matching a corset with those stilettos will really get his blood pumping! Imagine the way he’s going to feel when you come at him with your breasts held high, your cleavage enhanced, and your body wrapped in silk or leather. Add the heels and you’re a walking Venus!
Thongs are an excellent addition to your visual ensemble. In fact, thongs are versatile. Not only do they show off your booty and give him easy access to the goods, but he can also use them to bind your wrists (or, if you’re the one in charge, you can take them off and tie his wrists together with them…how sexy is that!).
#8 Cat O’ Nine Tails
Aside from bondage, it’s important to have a good set of toys around if you’re going for the Fifty Shades of Grey sex. The cat o’ nine tails is an excellent addition to your play. This is a short whip with numerous strands of the same length usually made of leather, suede, or some form of soft rubber.
Although it might seem like playing with a whip is painful, it is actually one of the most popular sex toys available. The intention isn’t to hurt your partner, but to make it sting lightly. There’s a very thin line between pleasure and pain, but the cat o’ nine tails is supposed to be on the pleasure side.
Before you smack your partner’s ass with this whip, brandish it against your naked thigh first. You’ll be able to get a feel for exactly how hard (or soft) you should swing in order to get a sexy sting, not a painful blow.
#9 Long Whip
One stranded whips can be used just as well as the cat o’ nine tails can. While the cat whip has a more spread out feel and a broader range of sensation against your skin, the long whips delivers one very quick sting.
This is not for the beginner.
If you’re going to move from playful to painful (and many people who practice Fifty Shades of Grey style sex do), then this is the whip you want to choose next. However, be careful and go light because even though you’re increasing your pleasure/pain threshold, this is still a very powerful tool and can leave a welt if it’s not delivered properly.
#10 Short Whip
A short whip is a good alternative to the long whip. In fact, I prefer this one over the others. The short whip still gives you the visual stimulation of a long whip, but it delivers a softer blow. It’s different than the cat o’ nine tails in that you must be absolutely on the mark when you use this toy, but it’s still a lot less intimidating or intense than the long whip.
#11 Riding Crop
You know the scene where Grey is teasing her back with a riding crop? Hot, right? Well, you can do that too (or have it done to you).
The riding crop is one of the most popular sex toys out there for those who are into a little Bondage. It is definitely preferred over the long and short whip because there’s less room for error.
With the long and short rope whips you have to have a lot of control over your angle and strength in order to get the best accuracy to avoid injury. With the riding crop, you don’t have to be as focused.
Now, don’t get me wrong: The riding crop can still be painful if you aren’t careful, but because it’s not a “whip” strand, there’s no risk of getting hit in the wrong place (such as your back instead of your butt). It’s also much sexier to look at than the long or short whips.
One of the most erotic aspects of Fifty Shades of Grey style sex is the gag. There are so many ways to gag someone that it would probably take me another article entirely. However, let me get to the basics here.
The first question I always get is, “Why would anybody use a gag?”
Now, I’m all about listening to a man moan or scream my name in pleasure, but there’s something a little bit darker about denying someone their voice. Not only is it visually stimulating to those who want to be dominant over someone, but it also has a very mentally stimulating effect as well. You are preventing someone from calling out for help; you’re denying them their sense of freedom, which is one of the many aspects of Fifty Shades of Grey sex.
A slender silk scarf works as the perfect gag (just tie it around their open mouth like you see in the movies), but don’t tie it too tight or they’ll be unable to breathe. Also, make sure you use a gag carefully – some people hyperventilate when they orgasm so a gag could actually be a little dangerous.
Aside from using a scarf, there are many types of ball gags out there to use (although your jaw will get exhausted quickly from those).
#13 Edible Undies
Not all Fifty Shades of Grey sex has to be about bondage. One of the most interesting sex items I’ve come across is edible underwear. This is the perfect addition to sex for anyone who is very new to kinky toys.
Edible underwear is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a pair of panties made of stretchy candy (kind of like a fruit chew). This is a great first try toy because it lets you and your man slowly get into the naughtier aspects of sex without the fear or nervousness that can often come with first time users of handcuffs and whips.
The only advice I will give you is to make sure you shave. You don’t want sticky candy stuck in your pubes.
#14 Under the Bed Restraints
If you can’t bring yourself to buy a pair of handcuffs yet, or if you just don’t have a bedpost to be tied to, then I highly recommend you purchase a set of under the bed restraints. These restraints slide right under your mattress to provide instant wrist and ankle restraints, leaving you spread eagle and at his will.
Of course, you can adjust the location if you want to tie him up instead and then you can tuck the restraints between the mattresses when you’re done so you don’t have to be embarrassed when guests come to visit. These are the best invention ever for Fifty Shades of Grey sex!
#15 Feather Tickler
Do you remember the feather tickler from Fifty Shades of Grey? It’s a real thing. This will tantalize and tease you in lusciously tormenting ways. Instead of the slightly painful pleasure of the whips, the gentleness of the feather tickler against your skin has its own kind of soft torment. Trust me: You won’t want to miss this.
#16 Special Seating
When you become more comfortable with Fifty Shades of Grey sex, and if you decide you want to explore it a little more, there are always special sex seats meant to place you in specific sexual positions.
Just to name a couple, I suggest checking out the door swing (which hangs from your door frame and gives him easy access) and the wedge (which lifts your hips to give him deeper access either in missionary or Doggy Style). Both are fantastic to play with!
Yet something else to get a good spanking, a paddle is an excellent Fifty Shades of Grey sex toy that does exactly what it says it will… it spanks! You don’t necessarily have to go out and purchase a paddle from a sex shop, either. You can turn a wooden spoon into a paddle or even the flat end of a hairbrush into a paddle. Remember to test it on yourself before whacking him on the ass (and vice versa, of course).
#18 Leash and Collar
Do you really want to be enslaved? If so, then you must invest in a leash and collar. These are the ultimate sex toys for those who thrive on Master and Servant role playing. I can’t even begin to name all the things you can tell your slave to do for you, but I can say that a leash and collar is going to make your Fifty Shades sex a lot more fun!
#19 Strap On
Strap Ons are excellent sex toys that allow your man to pleasure you even after he’s come. This is perfect for Fifty Shades of Grey sex because when it comes to kinky sex, your reaction is what drives and motivates him.
If he’s had his orgasm, but hasn’t quite finished watching you tied up, blind folded, and gasping in pleasure as he strokes you with a riding crop, then the strap on will allow him to keep on going until he is done watching you in pleasure.
#20 Different Positions
Of course, one of the best aspects of kinky sex is all the places and positions you can get into! Don’t feel limited to being tied up lying on your back in your bed. Get creative with your positions, role playing, and your places. After all, Fifty Shades of Grey sex is anything but boring!
the gag I prefer forces your mouth to stay open.nothing hotter than than my husband grabbing a fistfull of hair & forcing himself down my throat.Love a riding crop(ala 9 1/2wks),but I painted a paint stirrer stick (free from Home Depot)black,w/ naughty/nice in hot pink on either side.I love a sex swing,but a wedge is the best!