In Bed

How to Use a Vibrator

You should never be ashamed of wanting to buy yourself a sex toy! Keep reading to find out how to choose and use a vibrator.

Sex shops are fun to visit with your boyfriend or gal pals, but going in to actually purchase a product is a completely different story. It's so personal, that being approached by a shop assistant can be scary and even embarrassing, especially if you have no idea what you are are looking at or how you are going to use it.

Most girls have some form of secret sex toy that they like to play with when they are alone, even if-if it isn't as conventional as an Rampant Rabbit Vibrator. I know a girl who uses a back massager, and another girl who uses vegetables.

Choosing a toy specifically designed for sexual pleasure however is not only safer, but also much more fun! 

Vibrator Basics

Ann Summers
Ann Summers

If you have never owned a vibrator before you can go onto a reputable retailer site like Ann Summers, where they do not only have their full range of products with detailed descriptions and customer reviews, but they also have to buy guides which explain how each type of product is designed for his and her pleasure.

The essential fact is that a vibrator is a safe sex toy, usually battery operated, that vibrates to a number of intensity settings which are designed to stimulate your erogenous zones.

Vibrators can be as simple as a small, discrete vibrating bullet that you can pop into your purse and take out in private to press against your clitoris for stimulation to help you achieve a very quick orgasm – useful for relieving sexual tension on a date if the vibrator is discrete enough to pull out in the ladies!

Or they can be as elaborate as having a full, vibrating, rotating, pumping penis shaft dildo with vibrating probes attached to simultaneously stimulate your clitoris, and even your anus!

Many women who purchase the multi-purpose product admit to only using part of it, usually the ‘rabbit ears' or tip of the vibrating penis, to stimulate their clit for self-orgasms, or to stimulate their partner's balls or anus during penetrative sex. In fact, The famous Rampant Rabbit brand designed a small vibrator which consists of just the rabbit ears minus the penis shaft, which directly reflects how women prefer to use the product!

How you end up using your vibrator will depend primarily on your personal physical sexual needs. Some women need G-spot stimulation and therefore prefer vibrating dildos that are shaped specifically to stimulate the front wall of the vagina.

Some like to feel lots of different exciting things going on at once, whereas others prefer to keep it simple and need to focus on the pleasure being built up around their clitoris without distractions for high-tech components.

Which vibrator should I buy?

If you are completely new to this, I would go for something inexpensive and uncomplicated. Go for a well-known brand to make sure you get value for your money. Cheaper versions are cheaper for a reason, usually, the vibrations will be poor or the battery life will be low.

Don't worry too much to begin with about multi-stimulation products, because usually these are more difficult to use and you will experience all sorts of alignment issues – I know a girl who bought a very advanced sex toy and then complained because when she used it for penetration she couldn't get the clitoris stimulator and the anal stimulator to reach the areas they needed to reach which was irritating and distracting every time she moved.

Another girl purchased an innovative vibrator designed specifically for G-spot stimulation and couples to use together, but she found it very difficult to get it to consistently hit her G-spot area, and in the end decided that it was too uncomfortable and not at all practical for couple-use.

Go for a simple vibrator with a variety of speed settings. It doesn't have to be the shape or size of a penis because you will mostly be using it for outside stimulation. My advice if you want penetration is to bring your vibrator into the bedroom and introduce it to your boyfriend, that way you can have real satisfying penetration from a proper penis, and use the vibrator for what it has been designed.

If your vibrator is slim and simple it will have the added benefit of not freaking your boyfriend out too, no guy is going to be too thrilled about sharing his girlfriend with a giant buzzing c*ck that dwarfs his own and makes him feel inadequate!

It is a good idea when you are purchasing your vibrator to also purchase some lubricant to use with it. This will enhance your pleasure, especially if you decide to experiment with lubricants designed to provide a tingling or heat sensation, which will increase the sensitivity of your genital area as well as make it safe and comfortable to play with your new toy.

Remember that once you have become fully acquainted with your new toy/best friend, you can then increase your pleasure by adding new toys to your collection to use with your vibrator which can often be a much more effective method of multi-stimulation than using a product with all the bits attached.

For example, you can buy vibrating butt-plugs or strings of anal balls if you like a bit of exciting stimulation for your er, alternative orifices! Soft or shaped dildos for penetration and G spot stimulation… and don't forget that you always have your fingers. Eight of them in fact, with two thumbs!

And now I am going to highlight some ways in which you can use your fingers with your new vibrator to enhance your fun under the sheets…

How women are using their vibrators

Elegant girl in bed with high heels

I spoke to a number of women about their sex secrets and a few of them were confident enough to share with me in detail exactly how they like to use their vibrators to get themselves off.

“I have a very simple one, it's long and slim with three-speed settings and it takes normal batteries. I like to use it after reading some erotic fiction or watching something sexy on TV so that I am already sexually aroused and lubricated. I use the tip of my vibrator up, down and around my clit, going from the lowest setting and building up to the more intense settings when I am ready to tip myself over the edge.”

TIP: If your vibrator only has one or two-speed setting you can increase the build-up by starting stimulation over clothes – don't take your knickers off straight away!

“I have a purple rampant rabbit with revolving balls in the shaft and vibrating bunny ears. I'm always impatient so I like to use the vibrating head focused entirely on my clitoris. I usually try to find the position where I can feel the sensations rising quickly, and then I stick to that spot, tensing up all my muscles until I come. Then I can go to sleep!”

“I have used all sorts of cheap little bullet vibrators, and disposable ones that you slip on the end of your finger, and vibrating rings that are meant for him, but I like to use them on myself, by myself.

Because they are cheap, obviously they are not made to last. I tend to use them when I want to get myself off quickly, and I press them on my clit. The less battery life left the harder you have to press though, I should really invest in a better vibrator.”

“I only use my vibrator in my ass. I know that sounds weird but I like the way it feels, and it makes my manual orgasms so much more intense. Sometimes I insert two fingers into my vagina to stimulate my G spot for a real deep orgasm, or I'll rub my clitoris, but it always feels a lot better when I push a vibrator into my ass. It doesn't necessarily have to go all the way in, but anywhere around there is fine!”

“I love slowly built up climaxes. I'm the sort of woman who likes to indulge myself. I'll do the whole thing… have a hot scented bath, light candle, let my mind wander… I have a waterproof vibrator and I like to use it all over my body, starting from my feet, going up the back of my legs, butt cheeks, anus rimming, nipples, neck, ears, lips… everywhere!

And all the while I play out in my head. By the time I come to give myself an orgasm I barely have to do anything because everywhere is so tingly and dying for release. Often I can bring myself to orgasm three or four times before I'm exhausted and need a rest.”

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)

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