There are some things guys just do not want to talk about with their girlfriend under any circumstances. It might be because they are ashamed of something they’ve done, it might be to protect you from the truth; it could be a lot of things.
Only your boyfriend will know, and he definitely wants to keep it that way. You can probably imagine how he might react when asked something very personal that he doesn’t want to talk about, but what is he hiding? If you really want to know, why won’t he just tell you? Here’s a rundown of four things he’ll never want to talk about and exactly why.
The number of people he’s slept with
This is the number one thing that guys who have had very active sex lives in their past want to hide from their girlfriends. Most likely, he’ll hold out as long as he can. Maybe he’ll never even tell you. If that’s the case with your boyfriend, then I have news for you. If he flat out refuses to even give you a hint of what his “number” is, it’s probably an insane amount.
He’s probably trying to protect you from the thought you’re just number XXX. He almost definitely does not think of you that way. But imagine how you would feel if suddenly you found out that you are the 156th person he’s slept with. He would definitely never want you to feel like just a number. Can you blame him?
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
In his defense, if he doesn’t feel comfortable telling you, he really shouldn’t. He does not want you to know that about him. If the lack of that knowledge doesn’t currently affect your relationship, it’s best to leave it alone. Use your imagination if you have to.
You can come up with a range all by yourself. How long was he single for? How many years has he been sexually active? How many girls does he know including social media? Was he the kind of person who went out partying a lot? Has he ever told you stories about dates gone wrong? Are there a lot of random contexts in those stories? If there are, that might seem to warrant the assumption that he frequently went on dates or had one night stands. I don’t recommend torturing yourself with this kind of detective work, but if you must know and he won’t tell you, you should be able to establish some kind of range based on the factors you already have.
Even if his “number” is insanely huge and you somehow find out, does that mean he’s a cheater? Absolutely not. Single life has no rules. If you believed that he would never cheat on you before you found out how active he was in the past, trust your gut and forget about his past. People change and apparently he’s ready for a relationship now.
Talking about marriage with someone you’re not 100% sure about yet is awkward. Guys understand that many people feel pressured to get married before a certain point in their life. But if a guy feels like he’s not sure if he’s ready yet, he won’t want to put himself in any sort of position to give up an answer now or express his feelings about whether or not he wants to go that far. It’s a big, big, big talk to have.
If your boyfriend has experimented in his youth or in his past at some point, you will probably never know about it. He has no reason to ever tell you other than just for the sake of complete openness. It’s not something he’d want to discuss or describe in any way. You don’t really need to know about that anyway. It would be amusing to hear the details, no doubt, but he might feel humiliated sharing that. It’s possible that, if he’s done something like that, he’s never told anyone, ever. By no means am I saying that all guys have tried it, but it’s definitely possible that your boyfriend has but won’t admit it.
Who he finds attractive at his workplace
This is something you should not want to know. If you have some way of finding out, save yourself the trouble and don’t. As long as you trust your man enough to know that he isn’t going to cheat on you, there’s no reason to get jealous about unrealistic scenarios. Once you turn down that road, there’s no coming back.
It’s just one of those things that everyone has to deal with. You’re absolutely right to think that your boyfriend looks at other girls when you’re not around. Does he think about sleeping with them every time he sees them? Probably not. If he’s an honest guy, he has it under control in his own way.
It’s obvious that talking about marriage may be unavoidable for some people. Aside from that, you shouldn’t force your boyfriend to talk about something that he isn’t comfortable with telling you. If you already know all of the essentials, it’s best to leave things that are too personal alone. You don’t need to put him in the position to lie for no reason. For the relationship’s sake, don’t torture yourself by dwelling on things that you don’t even want to know in the first place, and don’t torture him by invading his sense of privacy.