The Worst Discovery…
Aside from discovering that your boyfriend is actually gay, has a horrific temper or is an escaped convict – the worst discovery a girl can make about a new lover is that he already has a girlfriend! It is devastation central. Number one, you have to deal with the fact that he is a liar. Also, you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re not the special woman you thought you were. You’re his bit on the side. Number three, you may even have to deal with his girlfriend if she finds out that you’ve been sleeping with her man behind her back. Some men are such pigs.
In order to help you avoid all of this heartache, we have come up with a comprehensive list of clues, so that you can tell if your new lover is playing you!
#1 He hides his phone when he gets a message alert
Let’s face it. There is just no need for anyone to get secretive about who is messaging them. Unless of course they have something to hide! If he is taking calls in private you might be able to give him the benefit of the doubt. It could be his mother and he doesn’t want you to know he is such a mama’s boy. But if he is acting crazy about you peeking over his shoulder when he takes a text message, you might want to wonder why!
But how do you know for sure? Well, aside from stealing and raiding his phone – which would make you the crazy one, and you’d feel pretty stupid if he was innocent – there’s not much you can do about this one. I mean, it’s his phone after all, and it isn’t really any of your business who is messaging him. If you don’t trust him though, and you’re afraid of falling for a guy who isn’t honest, the next time it happens, without acting psycho or forcing him to do anything, simply explain to him how you are feeling. If he doesn’t respect you enough to put your mind at ease by showing you he has nothing to hide, you have to make a decision. Do you walk away?
#2 He is never available at the weekend
If a guy is in a proper relationship the likelihood is that if he works during the week, weekends are girlfriend time. If you begin to notice that there are certain allocated slots of time where he is always unavailable, and he is obscure about where he is or what he doing during this time, it might be time to get suspicious. Remember, a guy who has nothing to hide won’t think twice about telling you what he is doing.
How can you be sure that his obscurity means he is leading another life though? Again, you can’t really, short of stalking him! You might want to pay extra special attention to his routines in future though and look out for other suspicions that add to your case!
Never let him know what you suspect though, because then he will just work hard to cover his tracks. He’s not going to come clean, especially if he has no attention of leaving his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to lose his bit on the side either. Besides, for a player, knowing that you’re onto him only intensifies the excitement of the affair for him. Better to keep quiet until you catch him in the act, or get fed up of the lack of trust and strange behaviour and decide to say “bye!”
#3 He only seems to have time for you late at night
This is a sure sign that he is only interested in one thing from you. Does your relationship revolve solely around sex? Does he avoid seeing you or taking calls from you at other times of the day? Then I’m afraid it looks like he could be hiding something from you.
What is even worse is if the time you spend together is always at your place, or in a hotel. Does the guy not have a pad of his own? Beware of men who are seemingly ‘homeless’. The reason he doesn’t invite you back to his is because he has a wife waiting for him and two kids tucked up in bed!
Be careful! Make sure the relationship is equal, or start asking yourself questions.
#4 Check his ring finger!
Of course he won’t be wearing his wedding ring when he comes to see you, but if you look closely enough you will notice the paler patch of skin where the wedding band normally sits! Try not to cry or throw a hissy fit when you see it. Walk away with dignity and thank your stars for a lucky escape. Congratulate yourself for being such a great detective too!
#5 He accidentally calls you by another woman’s name
If he has a girlfriend, he may do this. If this happens, you head is going to jolt back and he going to have to quickly muster up an embarrassed excuse or pretend that he didn’t notice. Never ignore when a guy calls you another woman’s name, whether you are just having a normal conversation on the phone or in the throes of passionate love-making. Stop what you are doing immediately and confront him. Don’t give him time to think about it – get an answer there and then – who is she? When put on the spot a guy is more likely to make common mistakes like lying. Hopefully he won’t know too many women with the same name though and you can do your research. If he says it’s his sister and he doesn’t have a sister, he’s caught. If he says its an old colleague but can’t back it up afterwards, you’re gone!
How have you caught your lover out?
It’s not that men are particularly clever or manipulative. If he already has a girlfriend, usually the reason they get away with it is because we don’t want to believe they are lying to us. So we make allowances. How long has it taken you in the past to come to terms with the fact that your lover was lying to you? And what was it that convinced you to leave in the end?
How to move on?
Being led on by someone really hurts and can knock your confidence quite a lot. It’s difficult to start trusting others again because you’re scared that it’ll happen again and that you’re being lied to the whole time.
It can make you feel very embarrassed or humiliated if you get led on by a guy. You’ve told your friends and family that you’re seeing someone new, possibly taking it a bit slowly, but that you’re excited about where it’s going, and now you have to admit to them that all of that isn’t going to happen after all.
These tips are here to help you get over him fast.
Your time is precious and you should not have to invest it in a man who is playing games with you.
Eventually, you will find that special man who is meant for you and you alone
I went through this with someone . he only wanted to see me in clubs and apparently had no time for me during the day. Am no call girl so we stopped talking I Really suspect him on having a lady
Oh what you belive is true is true i just read a article on cheating on your partner or spouse it had a saying
You can definitely tell when a person (who happens to be your bf )is getting some extra love and attention simply by her ‘glow” (and by gestures seeing is simple believing) what you have seen is at its most probable is the truth.
I checked his facebook. He stopped talking to me and a couple days later i found out.