Oral sex is such an intimate and pleasurable experience, and also one that can make you feel quite vulnerable, especially with a new partner. As if we didn't have enough insecurities to deal with – flabby bellies, wobbly bums – now we have to reveal our most hidden parts and we don't know what our new guy is used to seeing!
It's not like you can just ask him – “Oh by the way, was your ex-girlfriend a waxer or a full-bush kinda gal?” I mean, you'd rather not think about his ex full stop. It's not that you want to replicate her pubic ‘do', but the fact is that like women, men have their preferences; if they're used to one thing, and then you open up your legs and he's faced with another, you're going to notice his er… curious hesitation.
Perhaps you are already in a sexual relationship and he wants to go down on you, but only if you shave or wax your pubic hair. How are you meant to feel about that? Shouldn't he appreciate you for who you are? Or should you be open to a bit of experimentation and compromise? It does grow back after all.
Removing your pubic hair is a very personal decision though, and whether it grows back or not isn't really the point. You have to think about why you are considering doing it, if it isn't something you would normally do. Is it for you? It should be!
You may want to make your boyfriend happy, but at the end of the day you are the one who is going to have to deal with all of the regrowth hell and drama; which can be the cause of much unnecessary sexual insecurity and hindrance than it's worth.
So in asking yourself the question “Should I shave my pubic hair?”, because of oral sex or some other reason, here are things you should consider:
Why Do Women Shave and Wax Their Pubic Hair?
Mostly do it for aesthetic and hygiene reasons. Depending on where you are from your pubic hair might be more thick and wild than other women, and keeping it down simply makes you feel more fresh and er… ready for action!
Other women preen their mounds because they prefer the way it looks when it's kept neat and short. Some women are the opposite and let it do it's thing because they prefer the natural look. Either way it should be about what makes you feel more feminine or womanly.
There are women who like to remove all of their pubic hair because they enjoy receiving oral sex from their partners and want their partners to be able to see exactly what they are doing! Some men prefer less or no hair because it's a bit naughty and allows them to live out private fantasies.
Mostly, if a man has expressed to you that he prefers a woman who waxes, it is probably due to hygiene and both of you feeling confident for him to go down on you.
Pros and Cons of Pubic Hair Removal
Regrowth nightmares and the horror of ingrown hairs… I decided to speak to a variety of females to get the bigger picture, and there are more women than you might think who suffer from irritation around their pubic mound and all of the mental stress that goes with it.
One woman described her shaving experiences to me. This woman has quite course hair that curls and she complains that every time she shaves around her pubic area it causes irritation. Sometimes she is lucky and if she leaves it alone it dies down, but most of the time she will end up with one or two ingrown hairs that end up causing her weeks of sexual insecurity, because the skin becomes infected and inflamed. There's no way my man is going down there when I'm looking like that! She exclaims. I asked her why she bothers shaving, and she said it's because her partner won't go down on her otherwise.
It seems pretty strange to me that because of a guy's sexual demands on his partner's body, oral sex is either denied because he won't go down unless she has shaved, or she won't let him go down because she has shaved and caused ingrown hairs!
Another woman I spoke to told me that her partner prefers her waxed, so she suggested he pay for her beauty appointment every month. Well I'm doing it for him, so why should I have to pay for it? That mounts up you know! She said comically.
I asked her if she minds doing it, and she said, sure it was painful at first, but the results were nice, so I got used to it. Plus the more frequently you get it done the easier and less painful it is because the hair grows back finer and there is less and less to remove. I certainly like the idea of putting the bill at his door! Cost is probably not something he is thinking about when he states his preferences.
I was seeing a man who specifically told me that pubic hair didn't bother him at all, and that in fact he prefers a woman not to shave because it is her naturalness and self-confidence that turns him on! Lucky me eh? I took full advantage of the freedom and I loved it!
The only good thing I can think of about hair removal is feeling fresher between the legs, especially during the summer months; not having to worry about people spotting stray hairs on your bikini line when going swimming; and feeling more confident about receiving oral sex because of your partner's preferences and also your own personal hygiene hang-ups.
When I compare these things to the physical and mental stress many women go through removing pubic hair, it makes me wonder why the guy's approval is so important. I mean, one girl has even described to me how she is so ashamed now of the marks and scars she has acquired from ingrown hair issues that she wears make-up on her pubic hair mound when she knows she will be receiving oral sex!
We need to love and respect our natural bodies more, and only do what we want to do, for ourselves. If you love and respect your natural body, and show that you are confident in yourself, then your man is likely to love and respect your body more too.
10 Pubic Hair Removal Tips
If you do decide to remove your pubic hair, here are some things to consider…
- If you are shaving, it is always advised to use a single blade razor and shave in the direction of the hair growth. A cleaner shave is going to increase the risk of ingrown hairs and skin irritation.
- Gently exfoliate the area to tease out hair from under the skin before they become a problem.
- Consider trimming your pubic hair rather than shaving it. You can achieve a very neat and almost-bare look without all the nasty regrowth issues this way.
- Make sure you moisturise using a non-perfumed moisturising cream, avoiding the genitals.
- If you just want to tidy up your bikini-line get used to tweezing any stray hairs.
- Always get a wax done by a professional.
- Be very careful when using depilatory creams not to get the cream anywhere near your genitals because the area is far too sensitive and it will swell up big time!
- Try anything once, but stand your ground if you're not happy with the results or side effects – it's your vagina!
- If your boyfriend refuses to go down on you because you won't shave, offer a compromise and tell him that you will shave if he shaves his balls! The itchy regrowth will give a taste of exactly why you don't want to shave for him, and he will be more understanding.
- If you want to stay completely natural always make sure you have a shower and know that you are completely fresh when your boyfriend gives you oral sex. Don't give him a reason to be reluctant.