How’s your sexual confidence? Do you feel like you’ve got it all figured out and act like a total sex whiz when in the sack? All the moves are down, you totally know what you’re doing at all times and you’re actually good at all of it? Well, hate to break it to you but – there’s no chance in hell you’re THAT good.
Sexual pleasure is a very individual feeling, and we all have different preferences. So, being a sex goddess to one guy may actually mean being a complete bore for another.
While the truth hurts, even considering this, thing’s aren’t really that bad – getting to know someone sexually, and developing this great connection in bed as well as outside of it, is a huge part of any relationship. Of course, it’s going to take time and adjustment. But, mistakes are common, on both parts.
Women, for example, tend to do one or a combination of these things:
1. Faking Orgasms
Lying gets you nowhere! Apply this saying to sex and it becomes 100% accurate.
I don’t even get the logic behind this phenomenon that’s more than common. Like, if you’re faking it it’s obviously not doing it for you, and you’re actually ensuring it’ll never work for you by faking that it’s amazing.
If he thinks he’s making you come every time he’s going to do the same things every time – the things that are actually not getting you there at all. So, no lying!
2. The “Dead fish” Fiasco
You know what? If he wanted someone to just lay there while he gets his freak on by himself he’d get a blow up doll or something.
First – there is no way you’re having any fun if you’re not getting into it, participating and actually putting in some effort, and second – he’s not having an easy time either seeing that you’re completely uninterested in what’s going on.
Do not spend the whole time checking out the ceiling – be a part of the act, give him a little moan, some heavy breathing, anything. I’m not saying you should go and become an expert in dirty talk or anything, but at least be present – it’ll help you both.
3. Body Issues
Everybody’s got them, but the bed is no place for them to emerge and stop you from having the best possible time!
Sure you might be devastated about stretch marks or cellulite or wiggly thighs or fat ankles, but insisting on doing it exclusively in the pitch dark and under the covers is not the way to go. It’s kind of a mood killer.
Also, not wanting to lose the bra or the t-shirt ’cause you feel like your boobs are not up to par is the most ridiculous thing ever.
Let’s rationalize here – if he’s with you, he probably likes your body too, plus half the things you obsess about he’s not even aware of and that’s a fact.
On the other hand, he’s probably aware of the size of your breasts so that bra isn’t really fooling anyone. Part of being sexy is being confident and comfortable in your own skin, sure, that’s not an easy thing to do. There are many ways you can look and then feel better when naked.
4. Keeping to the Routine
This goes for the positions, the amount of time it lasts, the lingerie, the foreplay, or lack thereof. And it’s not necessarily your fault, it’s something that both of you just kind of let happen ’cause it’s familiar, easy and rarely practiced.
You must do something about it. For example, spice it up with some sexy lingerie once in a while, break the streak of the good ol’ 15 minute sex routine with a quickie. Stuff like that will keep you both entertained and put in some diversity in your sex life.
5. Being a Prude
It’s perfectly fine that there are some things you just don’t do, some fantasies you will never actually want to act out and some lengths you just won’t go.
But, strictly saying “no” to every single suggestion or desire he might have is a total turn off.
Again, it’s not about fulfilling someone’s wishes – it’s simply about being open towards having some new experiences. I’m sure there’s something you can do that’s a bit out of the ordinary, but still not in the extreme that would make you feel great rather than uncomfortable.
6. Not Communicating
Men are not mind readers. You’ve gotta give him some pointers. Show him what feels good, what you like and how you like it. Tell him all that too. Don’t we all know that the road to pleasure for women is a bit rockier than a man’s? Yes we do, so, sending him on that road without any directions at all is not a very good idea, is it?
7. Always Taking Shotgun
Letting him take the wheel is okay too, but taking control yourself once in a while will not only blow his mind, but also get you the opportunity to take care of yourself while in charge.
Hi,
I found this article very interesting as I have encountered many of these issues with my girlfriend. Specifically, the ‘not communicating’ aspect. I know exactly why many of these things are uncomfortable for her to do (she had a terrible experience as a child) but she is an incredible woman and is learning to overcome these issues. What would be very interesting to me is an article about what I, as a man, can do to help my woman not make these mistakes.
Thanks!