In Bed

My Boyfriend Is Addicted To Porn – What Should I Do?

It is normal to be in a relationship and still look at other people. But what happens if your significant other is addicted to watching them have sex?

People may chuckle at the thought of porn addiction- but it really not a laughing matter. Porn/sex addiction is just as debilitating as other addictions to substances such as drugs or alcohol.

It can completely ruin someone’s life. What does it mean though if it is your significant other that is the one suffering from porn addiction?

Read on to find out what to do to help the, help yourself, and how to cope in general.

1. Porn addiction- What exactly is it?

Young naked man in bed is using his laptop

I feel as though it is important to explain what porn addiction entails- I feel like this is a topic that many people do not talk about. I get it, it is an uncomfortable thing to discuss.

Porn addiction is very real, just as alcohol addiction, drug addiction, gambling, eating, any kind of addiction is. We all know what porn is- and most likely many of us have watched it, whether it be for pleasure or honestly for a good laugh.

Many people- especially men- watch pornography.

It is not an unhealthy thing to do. Just like having a glass of wine- it is not unhealthy, whatsoever. But just like an alcoholic who has much more than that glass of wine- that is what porn addiction entails.

It is when someone cannot stop watching porn, and they also have to watch more and more to be able to have an orgasm.

Just like a drug addict that builds up a tolerance to whatever they are using. Porn addiction can affect someone’s life in an extremely negative way and cause them to become very isolated and depressed.

It can cause them to lose their jobs- people who are addicted to pornography can get uncontrollable urges to watch porn or masturbate at any time, which can lead to everything in their life revolving around that.

This can also lead to sex addiction, even though porn addiction is a form of sex addiction- this can lead to unfaithfulness in relationships- which of course, causes a whole other kind of mess.

Some people watch porn to distract themselves from other problems that may be going on in their life or if they are depressed- which then can snowball into an addiction.

My whole point is that it is extremely important to understand that porn addiction should not be taken lightly- especially if it is your significant other that is addicted to it.

2. How you can cope with all of that

I cannot even imagine discovering that my significant other is addicted to watching other people having sex, and constantly viewing other naked females.

Of course, it can make you feel extremely insecure about yourself. It may make you think, am I not good enough? Was I not attractive enough, or good enough in bed?

It is very important to know that their addiction to watching pornography has nothing to do with YOU, whatsoever.

Your significant other is in love with you, completely- they just so happen to have this addiction. Just like someone who is an alcoholic and may be married or in a relationship- they love their significant other- they just have a problem.

It is also important to know that when you are having sex with your significant other, it may cause frustration- people who are addicted to porn can actually have less of an emotional connection to who they are having sex with- or may try to act more dominant and aggressive.

You need to make sure that you are safe and not uncomfortable- do not do anything that you are not okay with. I know that this may be so uncomfortable for you to talk about to someone, but it is important to have people in your life that you can talk to about this.

Porn addiction of course does not affect just the person that is going through it- it truly affects their significant other. You should not have to go through this alone.

Especially if your significant other is isolating themselves- you need to be able to talk to someone, so you do not get extremely depressed as well. Know that just like any other addiction, there is help for this.

There is a way for you to get back the person that you are in love with- not who they have become. Watching your significant other go through any kind of addiction is devastating- and you should not have to go at it alone.

You need to do whatever is best for you- and you can only do so much to help as well. Nothing you choose to do about your relationship is wrong.

3. Getting help for his porn addiction

Couples therapy

As with many people who are suffering from some kind of addiction, they often will deny that they have a problem. It is important to not enable any of their behaviors, and to talk to them, even if they get upset.

Anyone who is an addict is not exactly thinking clearly- to no fault of them.

They have a disease. Addicts need to be able to reach the point where they know that they need help, even if that means that they hit some kind of rock bottom.

When it comes to porn addiction, you know that what they are doing cannot physically kill them, unlike drugs and alcohol.

It cannot cause any kind of serious health condition. Except, if your partner is engaging in sex with other people and they catch some kind of STD. It is important to get yourself tested if you find out that your partner has been unfaithful to you.

Even though this addiction cannot cause any physical ailments- it is still extremely serious, and can cause many mental health problems as well.

The good news is that just like any kind of help one may get for any other kind of addiction, there is help out there for porn addiction.

There are different kinds of therapies that can help treat porn addiction, such as group therapy, which the addict and also their significant other can attend.

There is also cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps those come up with coping strategies for their behaviors.

Just like any other 12 step program for addiction- there is one for porn addiction as well. There is no shame in going to group therapies for this addiction- everyone is going through the same thing as you.

4. Curing porn addiction

At the moment there are no medications that are approved specifically for porn addiction, but there is a high correlation between mental health disorders and porn addiction, so sometimes being prescribed an anti-depressant may be of help.

There is also the option if inpatient treatment centers- where they will live at a facility and get round the clock help.

There are so many options out there for overcoming porn addiction- and also many support groups for the significant other.

There are psychologists and addiction counselors that specialize in this. If your partner is addicted to porn and you feel like you have completely lost them to the internet, know that you have not.

There are many couples who have gone through this and overcame it and now are strong and healthy.

It is important to be very understanding of each other- and also not just think that your boyfriend is some kind of hornball that that constantly needs sex or can’t be faithful.

That is absolutely not the case. There is help, and there is a way to overcome this.

Do you have any personal experiences with your significant other being addicted to porn/sex or any other kind of addiction?

Feel free to comment below. It may help someone out, or make them feel less alone.

About the author

Lindsay Roseman

Lindsay is a nursing student (aka a walking zombie from no sleep) that has always had a knack for writing, and she also loves high fashion and beauty. She also has a big passion for cooking and loves coming up with a bunch of healthy recipes to share.

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