What to Do If Your Guy Sucks In Bed?

There’s nothing worse than a guy who isn’t able to satisfy you in bed because he doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing! Find out what to do if your guy sucks in bed.

Every girl’s worst relationship nightmare

Okay, so maybe it’s not every girl’s worst nightmare, but it is certainly up there with discovering you have an unfaithful boyfriend, a boyfriend whose mother has him wrapped around her little finger, or a boyfriend who thinks you’re his very own personal house slave! The fact is that most women will be pretty damned disappointed, not to mention frustrated, if they find they are lumbered with a guy who just doesn’t understand what a woman wants and NEEDS in bed!

What is it like to be with a guy who sucks in bed?

What to Do If Your Guy Sucks In Bed?

If a man is completely unaware of the fact that he is bad in bed you can end up feeling neglected and miserable. You will begin to resent your partner, thinking of him as selfish. You may even lose interest in having sex, which can harm your relationship and the bond between you even more.

A guy who sucks in bed is a guy who has a limited knowledge of how female pleasure works. He may be oblivious, and think he is a sex god just because he manages to get himself off every time, or he may realize that you’re not being satisfied but choose to ignore it or assume that you are the one with the problem because his ego is just too big to take any sort of responsibility for it.

Why are some guys terrible in bed?

Unfortunately it is not always as simple as saying that the guy is selfish or untalented. What if every girl he has ever been with for instance, has faked her orgasms? How is he to know he isn’t doing it right? What if he is used to pleasuring women who climax easily? What if he doesn’t understand what does it for you because you aren’t very good at communicating what feels good to him? You see, it is not always the guy’s fault!

How can you help a guy to pleasure you better?

The obvious solution

Express in one way or another when he does something that you like. A guy will respond to positive feedback. Even more so than if you tell him what isn’t working for you. Sometimes telling a guy that the weird thing he does with his tongue for simply ages bores you to death and numbs your clit can do more damage than good. If you give negative feedback then he is less likely to have the confidence to be creative in case he does something wrong. Whereas if you give positive feedback and ignore the stuff that does nothing for you, you will find that he will soon start focusing on the things that make you squirm with pleasure, rather than the things that make you lie on the bed like a corpse!

What if you are too shy to talk about what you would like him to do?

Your Guy Sucks In Bed?

Don’t worry, you are not alone. Despite the fact that we are close enough to take all of our clothes off and get physical, sometimes we are not close enough on a mental level to be able to feel safe about talking about things that make us feel vulnerable and exposed. Talking about the things we like about sex can be embarrassing. It’s a lot easier sometimes not to talk at all for fear of ruining the moment!

If you are shy, make use of the sounds you make. You don’t have to go into deep detailed descriptions of what turns you on. But, if you murmur – Oh that feels so good – or – Oh God I like that, do it again – you are communicating what you like. That’s how you’re turning you both on at the same time! This kind of verbal encouragement will give your guy more confidence to try new things. He would just want to see if he gets more sexy sounds and phrases slipping from your mouth!

Another way of avoiding talk, and even noises if that makes you feel awkward or unnatural is to lead him to mimic you. If you do something to him, like nibble on his ear, and he likes it, he is more likely to try the same thing on you.

How do you get him to behave differently in bed?

Maybe your problem is that your boyfriend is too soft in bed for your tastes. Maybe you need a bit more rough and tumble to excite you. Or maybe it is the opposite way around… Sometimes when he is too rough it makes you nervous. Does your body respond more to gentle, soft barely-there touches? Every woman’s body and mind responds differently to different behavior and types of touch. What turns you on won’t necessarily turn me on!

You may be also be worried that what you like doesn’t match what he likes and that you are incompatible. Remember one useful thing  though. Any man will be turned on by the fact that he can turn a woman on. So if he can turn you on by doing something different it isn’t going to turn him off. More likely than not he will want to milk the new discover. Your reactions are sexy and turn him on!

Make Him Last Longer in Bed

Is he less of a “marathon runner” and more of a “minute man?” Believe it or not, sex positions influence how long your man lasts.

If you’d like your man to pleasure you more, then read on to find out how you can make him last longer.

Be patient with him, and as soon as you know it, you’ll be having awesome sex for 20 minutes…or more!

How to Give Your Guy Instructions on Oral Sex Technique

Every girl is different and it is important for him to pay attention to what turns you on. There are some girls who prefer a harder approach, whereas other may be more sensitive.

You don’t want to intimidate him or make him think that he’s useless or doing everything wrong.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind…

Positive encouragement is far better negative criticismIf he is doing something that feels good, make sure he knows it! The more you show you are enjoying something, the more likely he is to continue. If he is doing something uncomfortable or not quite right, be subtle, make a suggestion or tell him him exactly what you want.  Read on to find more tips.

Return him a favor! Jack’s Blowjob Lessons became a huge, worldwide success. Tens of thousands of women have read it and transformed their sex lives thanks to his  guide.

Do you have a partner who doesn’t meet your sexual needs?

If you are discovering that you don’t respond well to his approach in bed, you can either talk to him about your concerns away from the bedroom. Never when you are in bed because you will throw him and he won’t be able to perform. Or you can guide him by behaving in the way you want him to behave. If that means you have to clutch a bit more desperately onto him and claw his back a little until he gets the message, or respond more to his more gentle tactics, so be it!

Share your experiences here and find out what many other women have in common with you! What else to do if your guy sucks in Bed? Share your experiences.

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)


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  • My boyfriend sucks in bed! Admittedly, he was a virgin when we first started going out. We’ve been together for 2 years and he hasn’t shown any improvement. I’ve read posts that say “communicate” but that clearly is not working for us. I’ve tried teaching him different ways of turning me on and my likes/dislikes but he doesn’t remember any of it. He simply gets his feeling hurt or the next time we have sex he doesn’t do anything I taught him. I feel like being together as long as we have he should be better In sync with my body. I feel as though he rushes into it and doesn’t understand that girls NEED more than guys. I love him, but I don’t feel the need to have sex with him because I know it’ll be disappointing. I’ve tried talking and explaining, I’ve tried little lesson as we go, I’ve tried games but nothing is helping us. He has potential, but I feel like he doesn’t pay attention to what I tell him. Like its in one ear and out the other. I just want advice on how to deal with this. I know sex isn’t the whole relationship, but it is an important part and clearly I’m not getting what I need.

  • My boyfriend has an extremely large penis and doesn’t know what to do with it …. he’s so rough and it doesn’t feel good most of the time and he also doesn’t foreplay much- I tell him over and over and he doesn’t get it …. should I end the relationship

  • My bf sucks in bed. We’ve been dating for 6 months and every time we have sex i don’t orgasm and i’m not happy about that. I really love him he is the best thing that ever happened to me this year but i’m starting to lose interest on sex because i know it’s gonna be the same old boring sh*t.

  • I have spent the last year trying every suggestion imaginable. Positive feedback, physically showing & telling him what I need. My husband’s concept of foreplay is a back rub – like how you rub a baby before they fall asleep. If he does play with my nether regions he has his eyes closed & is just rubbing me so he can have sec. He honestly believes the 10-20 minutes I’m begging for foreplay is not what he’s used to. He’s been married 2 x before & one ex was fine with his quickie service … or maybe she was like me, trying to just get it over as fast as possible. Worse, it hurts. Even with lube it is not comfortable because I am not remotely aroused.

    I guess I was really lucky in my previous relationships, because I always adored sex. Now I purposely avoid it except once a week. I worry this will ultimately wear on our marriage. I’m literally ready to take both of us to a sex therapist. He’ll, I even suggested he treat me like he did when he was trying to get in my pants … but he “can’t remember.”

  • My boyfriend is perfect in every aspect except the bedroom! It’s like he has no idea what he’s doing or even how to please me! What do I do

  • My boyfriend is fairly new to relationships. He’s a wonderful guy in every way, except in bed. He’s had very little sexual experience and, from what he’s told me, it was all pretty unsatisfying. He’s the type that needs an emotional connection as well and he’s never had it.
    Well anyways, we’ve tried having sex a few times, and each time is worse than the last. The other night, I spent 20 minutes trying to teach him what do with his hands during foreplay and repeatedly asking him not to put all his weight on me when we got started. ( He’s not fat, but he’s tall and works out a lot and I’m on the smaller side.)
    He says he’s willing to let me teach him and he even bought a book to help him learn how to go down on me. I’m far more experienced in both relationships and sex. I know I can be an impatient person when it comes to having to repeat myself more than a few times. Lately, I’ve been pretty irritated with everything and haven’t been in the mood for sex and I’m not sure if that’s why. Besides patience, what would help our relationship? I don’t want it fall apart because of something like this.