50 Things Every Woman Should Know About Guys

Are you baffled by the opposite sex? Worried about what he’s thinking? Worry no more! Here are 50 things every woman should know about guys.

I had a guy tell me once that women are nature’s Rubik’s Cubes. We’re puzzles the males of the species just can’t figure out. I disagree. I think men are the most puzzling of the sexes, with some kind of built-in multiple personality issues that arise whenever other males walk into the room. I’m sure it’s a Venus vs. Mars thing; regardless, women are still left out of the male mind.

Well, not any more. All of those little things that drive you crazy can be explained by a few things you just need to know about men. Here are 50 things you should know about guys. These things will not only explain his erratic behavior, but also make your relationship much less frustrating.

On a Date

When it comes to dating, it’s important to remember that men think differently than women. You might be doing the opposite of what he wishes you would do. Here are some helpful hints guys wish you knew.

#1 He’s Nervous, Too

Go easy on him; he’s nervous, too. He’s freaking out inside, worried he’ll spill his drink, worried his deodorant stopped working, wondering if you like him… All the things we think about, he’s thinking about them, too.

#2 He Wants You to Eat

It freaks a guy out when you order a salad and he has a steak and potato. He feels awkward stuffing his face when you’re nibbling. Plus, when you eat a meal, it reassures him you won’t pass out halfway through the date.

#3 If He’s Interested, He’ll Call

This is one thing that is a guarantee about men. If he’s interested, he’ll call. If he’s not, he won’t. There are no “lost numbers” and no “I got too busy” when it comes to the male mind. If he wants to see you again, he will call.

#4 Don’t Make it Too Easy for Him

If you’re agreeing with everything he says, then he’ll get bored. He will assume you have no mind of your own and he’ll lose interest. Also, let him chase you. Don’t be so willing to give him sex yet, make the man work for it. Men love a little chase; it’s in their DNA.

#5 He’s Not Thinking Long Term Yet

Dating is dating. While you might be wondering what flowers to pick for your bridal bouquet, your guy is just thinking in the moment. Don’t over analyze his thoughts, because he’s probably still just trying to decide what to order. Men very rarely fall in love at first date – or second or third date for that matter. Don’t think about it too deeply; just enjoy his company until things move forward.

#6 He Wants to Pay

The age old debate on whether or not a guy should pay ends here. A guy should pay. He wants to pay. He wants to show you that he can be the breadwinner. Let him pay, and thank him politely.

#7 Use Your Manners

Speaking of polite, guys are really put off by a woman who has no manners. If you can’t say please and thank you, if you’re rude to the waitress, if you’re prone to chewing with your mouth open, believe me, he won’t ask you out again. Manners are extremely important to a man. He wants the kind of woman he can take home to mom and not be embarrassed.

A man may be drawn into a relationship by a crazy woman with sex appeal, but he will be fascinated by a lady who maintains control while still seducing him. Continue reading to learn how to be a lady.

#8 He Needs a Sign if You Want Him to Kiss You

Guys want you to know that they’re just as nervous about that first kiss. In fact, if you want him to kiss you, it really is best that you give him some kind of unspoken sign. Smile and stand there a little longer than necessary, or lean in when you say goodnight. It’s okay.

#9 Let Him Ask You Out Again

Guys want to be the one to ask you out. You may be aching to see him again, but if you start making plans with him, he’s going to run off like a scared puppy. Honestly, let him be the one to ask you out again; it makes him feel like the alpha (which is extremely important to him).

#10 He Appreciates a Genuine Woman

Guys want you to understand that they appreciate a woman who is herself. Even if you have nothing in common, the fact that you’re genuine is exactly what makes him attracted to you. If he’s a dedicated accountant who collects stamps and you’re a cattle roping woman who trains horses and goes line dancing, he’ll appreciate that about you. In fact, it’s often the differences that attract him to you.

In Bed

Sex can be one of the most terrifying moments for women. No matter how long we’ve been with our lover, we still wonder what he thinks about when he sees us naked. We wonder if he’s fantasizing about someone else, if porn is replacing us, if he still finds us sexy. All the things we worry about are pretty useless, though. When it comes to sex, here are the things you should know about guys.

#1 You Don’t Have to Look Like a Supermodel

While every movie and television show gives you the impression you have to look like a supermodel in order to keep his attention, the truth is he’s just happy to have a naked woman in front of him. Any man who is a real man (and not an egotist) will tell you that once your clothes are off, there’s no other woman on the planet but you.

Men in general aren’t too concerned about whether you have the perfect body. . If you flaunt your curves in the bedroom like you love them, your man’s reaction to these areas will most likely mimic yours, and he will love them as well. It’s a part of you, and it’s you and your attitude that makes him want to be with you!

#2 You Can Initiate Sex

Of course, men also want you to know that it’s okay for you to initiate sex, too. In fact, he’s going to be thrilled that he doesn’t have to ask you every time. To put it simply, it hurts a guy’s ego when he has to ask for sex every time. He wonders why you’re never in the mood, and he feels like he’s pressuring you for sex, which, in turn, makes him feel unattractive. Yes, ladies; men feel unattractive, too.

#3 He’s Nervous About His Performance

Men will freak out over their performance, ladies. He’ll wonder if it was too slow, if he’s hurting you, if he’s going the right speed, and most importantly, if you’re being satisfied. Guys are just as nervous about sex as we are.

#4 He Enjoys Blow Jobs…If You Do it Right

One thing guys want you to know is that they really love blow jobs, and they’re more than happy to let you give them one all day if you want…but you have to do it right. Every man has different techniques he enjoys when it comes to getting head, so keep in mind that while one guy might like a little teeth, another guy might not. If you really want to learn how to become a Blowjob Queen, don’t be lazy,  master 61 tips on how to give a great blowjob.

A good blowjob is kind of like art. You have to love it to do it right. Learn how to give a blowjob that will blow his mind.

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You have to love it to do it right.

#5 He Wants You to be Enthusiastic About Sex with Him

It’s really hard for a guy to admit his feelings, especially those insecure feelings, but you should know that guys really want you to be enthusiastic about having sex with them. Not only does he not want to have to beg you for sex, but if you say “I’m not in the mood” every time, then he’s going to assume you don’t desire him anymore, which will lead to bigger problems later on. If you think women are the only ones who feel the effects of a partner who doesn’t desire them, think again. Guys are just as affected by a lustless lover.

#6 If You are a Booty Call, Don’t Expect More

Okay, just for the record, I know it seems almost sexist to say it, but we women really do confuse love and sex much of the time. But, before you dwell too much on that, let me assure you that it’s a chemical reaction in our brain (the same reaction that keeps us from eating our young) that forces us to confuse love and sex. However, men don’t have that chemical reaction. Therefore, guys really wish you understood that a booty call is really just sex. Nothing more. Don’t fight it.

#7 He Wants to Hear You Orgasm

Whether it’s booty call sex or “I love you” sex, one thing you should know about guys is that they want to hear you orgasm. They thrive on listening to you scream their name in pleasure! They want to know that they’re satisfying you and exhausting you and making your body (and your vocal chords) react in overtime! Scream for him, ladies.

#8 Threesome is a Fantasy…Most Guys Don’t Want it to Really Happen

You should know that no matter what a guy says about a threesome (you know, two women at once), he really doesn’t want it to happen…at least not with you. Men want their woman all to themselves. This is especially true when he’s dating a woman who enjoys sleeping with other women. Guys can’t handle that. Besides, the truth is guys aren’t sure they can actually handle two women at once. They worry enough about performing right with you; if you add in another woman he’s going to be even more freaked out.

#9 Porn Does Not Replace You, but He Still Needs it

Speaking of porn, you should know that porn is a must for men. It doesn’t replace you and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s the male equivalent of a Harlequin romance. Men are visual creatures and sometimes they just need to watch porn and get themselves off. In fact, men usually masturbate more when they’re in a relationship. Let him watch his porn, and don’t freak out about it.

#10 Lingerie Looks Great…on the Floor

He likes lingerie, but he prefers you naked. Don’t spend hundreds of dollars on something that you’ll wear for a total of three and a half seconds. Buy a thong and matching bra and he’ll be just as happy.

Oh, by the way…what to wear to bed? What are romantic and sexy things to wear to bed? And how do you know what to wear when? We will teach you everything you have to know!

#11 He’ll Never Be Completely Okay with You and Another Woman Having Sex

I was told once, “When I’m with a woman who has been with a woman I know deep down inside that there’s a part of her I’ll never be able to satisfy, and I have a hard time dealing with that knowledge.” So there you have it, he doesn’t really want you and another woman; he’ll just watch some girl on girl porn and fantasize on his own.

#12 He Will Still Have Sex with You When You’re on Your Period

You might be grossed out by the idea of it, but he’s okay with sex when you’re on your monthly flow. In fact, it just gives him an excuse to have sex in the shower (something he likes to do anyway). Blood washes off, he doesn’t mind. Also, as a note, before you say no to sex on your period, remember that orgasms are good for pain (those cramps won’t be so bad this month), and you’re always happier after sex, so you might as well give in and get it on. He doesn’t mind.

In a Relationship

When it comes to relationships, guys aren’t as complicated as they seem. In fact, we women often make it seem much more complex than it needs to be. However, there are some definite “guy things” that will happen in a relationship no matter how much we wish they wouldn’t. Here are 15 things you should know about guys when they’re in a relationship.

#1 He Heard You the First Time

You might think he isn’t listening, and sometimes he’s not, but usually he is. He heard you the first time you told him to take out the trash; he just wasn’t ready to take it out yet. Nagging him will not only make him annoyed, but it will also have the opposite effect of what you’re reaching for.

If you want him to do the dishes, tell him once and sit down. If he still hasn’t done them before he goes to bed, ask him again if he wouldn’t mind washing the dishes so they don’t get crusted food on them by morning.

This tactic doesn’t always work, of course. Whether you decide to continue to nag him is definitely up to you (sometimes women need to do a bit of nagging). However, be assured, he heard you the first time you told him to do it.

#2 His Friends aren’t Going Away

It doesn’t matter how much you dislike the guys your man hangs out with, your guy isn’t giving them up. In fact, the more you say you don’t like his friends, the more likely he is to hang out with them just to defy you. It’s a bro thing. Just accept that his smelly friend who always puts his muddy sneakers on the table and eats all your junk food is here to stay (but that doesn’t mean you can’t set down some house rules).

#3 He Needs His Space, Too

You should know that guys need their space, too. When he says he just needs time, it isn’t necessarily a reflection on you or your relationship; he might just need a little bit of breathing room. There are times when you know you wish he’d just leave for a few hours so you have the house to yourself, right? Well…he wishes the same thing about you sometimes. Don’t take it personally.

#4 You Cannot Be Angry and not Tell Him Why

You really have to understand the male brain isn’t as intuitive as ours. There’s a very good chance he did some stupid guy thing or didn’t notice you rearranged the living room and you’re pissed. It’s okay to be mad at him, but it is not okay to not explain WHY you’re mad at him. When you say things like, “If you don’t know, why should I tell you?” then he’s just going to assume you’re insane and continue his bad behavior. Guys hate it when you’re mad and don’t tell them why.

#5 He Wants to be Your Protector

You really should know that men love being the protector. They want to keep you safe and warm, they want to feel their alpha blood flowing as they kill that giant crawly bug for you, and they certainly want you to ask them for help. It makes them feel like a man when they’re guarding and protecting you, so let them do it…even if you can do things yourself, let your man protect you.

#6 He Doesn’t Care About Your Best Friend’s Drama

No matter how much you feel the need to inform him of every little detail about your BFF’s crazy boyfriend and all the antics her mother puts her through, guys don’t care. They aren’t really listening when you start on what they refer to as “girl drama” and they don’t care. They really don’t. Guys would prefer as little drama as possible in their lives, and that includes listening to your friend’s drama. Spare your man and keep the drama between the girls.

#7 He Doesn’t Want to Catch Your Cold

If you are lying sick on the sofa surrounded by snotty tissue and covered in Vaporub, your guy might make you a bowl of Ramen, but he won’t sit on the couch and cuddle you. Why? He’s not an idiot. He knows that your cootie covered self will want to snuggle and will in return give him your ailment. He’s not trying to be mean by not hanging around when you’re sick; he’s just trying to avoid the same fate.

#8 He Likes it When You Get Drunk Once in a While

There’s a good chance he won’t admit this to you, but you should know that guys like it when you get drunk once in a while. Not the crazy, dramatic, set the house on fire kind of drunk. The cute, flirty, have-sex-with-me-NOW kind of drunk. You know, sometime between “I’ll only have one” and “I think I’m gonna puke.” When you’re drunk, it puts you in a carefree mood (one he probably doesn’t see often) and it puts him in the protector role (which we already know he loves). It’s okay to give in and have a few too many on occasion, he’ll watch over you.

#9 You Need to Control Your Crazy

Guys in a relationship need you to control your crazy. You cannot get super possessive and over emotional at every little mistake he makes. For one thing, he’s probably not aware of every little mistake he makes, and for another thing, he hates drama. By the way, crazy equals drama. Go nuts when it’s necessary, but maintain your cool when it’s not. You have to remember that guys are usually much more laid back than we are.

#10 He Loves it When You Make Him Stuff

You should know that guys love it when you make them stuff. Sure, they won’t admit that they adore that lopsided sweater you knit last winter, or that they often look at that painting you made that they can’t quite figure out what it is. When you make a guy something, he knows that you’ve invested your time, energy, and love into it. No matter what kind of man he is, he will appreciate that and he’ll love that you think so highly of him.

#11 You’re Sexiest When You’re Casual

When it comes to clothes, you need to know one thing about guys: They think you’re sexiest when you’re in your jeans and t-shirt. Sure, that little skirt is hot and your breasts look fantastic in that low cut dress, but your everyday jeans and ponytail are what really drive him wild!

#12 He Hates to be Ignored

Men are possessive creatures. They want your time and attention. They want to know that you’re thinking of them, and only them. In other words, they hate to be ignored. If a guy asks you out and you turn him down because you have other plans (even and especially if those plans involve a book or a girl party he’s not allowed to go to), it’s going to make him crazy. Even more nerve-wracking is when you’re at home reading or watching a movie and he’s trying desperately to get your attention and you’re not interested in his man stuff. Seriously, he hates to be ignored.

#13 Don’t Get Pissed if He Doesn’t Notice Your New Haircut or Shoes

Men are not always the most observant of creatures, so don’t go over the edge when he doesn’t realize you’re wearing a new pair of shoes or you cut your hair two inches. It’s best you point it out to him and let him ooh and ahhh over it without all the guesswork and waiting for him to notice it himself. You’ll both feel better about the situation if you just hold up your foot and say, “Look, honey, I got new shoes!” so that he can react with the appropriate amount of admiration without feeling like an ass for not noticing them to begin.

#14 He Won’t be Overly Enthusiastic About Your Every Little Whim

In the same line of thinking as you not being at all impressed with his limited addition Star Wars shirt and matching mug, he will not be overexcited about every little whim that makes you go insane with giddiness. He’s not going to understand why your eyes are filled with little hearts about a purse; he doesn’t get why you’re jumping for joy over your favorite soap opera love triangle. Don’t expect him to.

#15 Let Him Drive

For some women, like me, letting a man drive is not only giving up a power I don’t want to give up, but he also takes forever to get us anywhere (and refuses to ask for directions when we’re lost). However, letting him drive means you’re giving him the power to be the alpha male (something we already established his ego needs), and he’s not left clutching the “Oh sh*t!” handle with dear life as you speed through the intersection trying to beat that red light.

With the Guys:

When it comes to the guys, your guy will have a completely different personality than when it’s just you and him at home. In fact, if you’ve ever watched The Hangover you should already be aware of three things: Men are different around their friends than they are with you, men have a fairly unbreakable friendship pact, and men in groups are idiots. Here are some things you should know about guys when they’re with “the guys.”

#1 You Can’t Expect Him to Hook Up His Friends with Yours

One thing you need to know about guys is that they are very uncomfortable hooking your friends up with theirs. You see, guys know all of your girl drama and they already know which of their friends are jerks, so combining the two is, to them, a recipe for disaster. Do not expect your guy to play matchmaker to your girlfriends.

#2 He Needs Guy Time

Just like you need time to go shopping with your best friends, and time to sit in your jammies and eat ice cream out of the carton with the girls, your guy needs time to do guy stuff with his friends. He needs to be able to go out, have a beer and play pool; he needs to be able to wind down with some mindless guy talk and loud sports. Let him go; he’s not going to cheat on you.

#3 The Game is on…You are No Longer Heard

Speaking of loud sports, you should know that once the game is on, you are turned off. That’s right: If you have an important conversation to talk about or you want his undivided attention (or any of his attention for that matter), it’s best to talk to him before the game (like days before the game) or after the game (after the after-party as well). It’s a fact that no matter what you say to him while the game is going, he won’t hear you.

#4 You Can Hate all of His Friends Except His BEST Friend

Yes, you can absolutely loathe all of his friends to the point where they are permanently banned from being within twenty feet of you. You can complain about his friends’ personal behavior, private life, the way they smell up your apartment, the way they take advantage of your hospitality, or even just the fact that they’re rude. He might even agree to keep them away. All except for one, that is.

Your guy’s best friend is going to be around no matter how you feel about it. In fact, the more you complain, the more your guy will take it personally. It is best to accept that his BFF is going to be around.

If he has a man crush on someone, that guy will be around all the time, too.

#5 You are not Allowed to Flirt with His Friends

It doesn’t matter how good looking they are, it doesn’t matter if you’re just playing around and not being serious, it doesn’t even matter if you don’t realize you’re doing it…you are not allowed to flirt with his friends. Guys get riled up enough when you drool over Brad Pitt, they don’t need to think you’re checking out their closest pals. In fact, don’t even say that you think one of them is good looking. Don’t flirt with his friends.

#6 Man Act Stupid in Numbers

Have you ever noticed that men are okay when it’s just one of them, maybe even two, but when they’re in a group they act like complete morons? It’s like their perfectly functioning brain turns to mush and they play some weird version of “follow the leader.” In fact, men in groups usually cause the most antics (or trouble, depending on the men).

If you ever need a reason to leave the house and do a little girl time, do it when he has his buddies over. If he and the guys choose to go out, be prepared to pick someone up from the bar, or have their bail money ready. Men in groups revert to prepubescent grudges and gags including some dares. Have you ever wondered why women outlive men? Just watch men in groups.

#7 Don’t Lecture Him in Front of the Guys

No matter how pissed off you are, or how much your guy deserves it, never lecture a man in front of the guys. I know it’s hard. Chances are whatever he did had something to do with the guys he’s with, but you cannot take away his manhood by yelling at him in front of his friends.

One of the things you should know about guys is that they are very protective of their status around other men. Being the alpha is not only important, it’s an absolute must! If you have to lecture him on whatever you just bailed him out of jail for, do it after the guys have left so at least he saves face. Plus, it keeps you from sounding like his mother in front of his friends.

#8 Don’t Call Him by His Pet Name in Front of the Guys

Another thing you should know about guys is that they hate to be referred to by their pet name in front of other people. This is especially true in front of their pals. While their friends might not show a reaction in front of you, other than a small snicker, believe me when I say that they will tease him mercilessly when you’re not around!

Oh yeah, it’s true. Guys really get hounded by their friends when you let their pet name slip out – especially if it’s a cutesy name like “snookums” or “snuggle bum.” These nicknames are asking for trouble. If you were in middle school, your guy would get his ass kicked in the locker room for that one. Don’t do it; don’t call your man by his pet name…leave that for when you’re alone.

#9 When He’s Out with the Guys, He’s Boring

When guys go out with their friends, most women have visions of strip clubs and car surfing going through their heads. This couldn’t be further from the truth. There are many things you should know about guys including the fact that they are actually really boring when it’s “guys’ night out.” Usually, they go to a bar, have a beer or two, and then decide they should leave because they have an early morning meeting. I’ve seen men in bars; it’s not very interesting. In fact, it’s usually the women who are having more fun, which is probably why we get suspicious when our men decide to go out to the bars without us.

#10 His Best Friend will Tell Him When He’s Being an Ass

Have no fear of your public argument in which you were justified; his friends will tell him when he’s being an ass. Don’t believe me? I’ve had numerous boyfriends say, “Yeah, I’m sorry about (insert stupid deed here). I didn’t realize what a jerk I was being until (insert guy friend’s name here) pointed it out to me.” Believe it or not, his friends will have your back when they think he’s being an ass because his friends know a good thing when they see it…you.

#11 Men Have to One-Up Each Other

It’s also important that you realize men will always have the need and desire to one-up each other. That’s right! Your guy will exhaust himself into a coma over a game of touch football if he’s close to winning but still just a few points behind.

#12 You Ought to Know by Now His Friends will Eat all Your Food

Give a man access to your kitchen and he’ll make sure your cupboards are bare. That’s right, your guy’s guys will eat all of your food starting with your favorite potato chips and moving on to your “hidden” chocolate stash. If there’s nothing good, they’ll make use of whatever expired canned goods are left. Advice: Don’t do major grocery shopping before a guys’ night in.

#13 He’ll Get Jealous if You Get Along too Well with His Friends

If you can banter carelessly with his guy friends and sit next to them without making that “Oh God, he stinks!” face, then you’re getting along too well with his friends. Men are not only competitive, but they’re also jealous and selfish and they are most certainly possessive.

If you get along too well with his friends, he will sulk and be miserable all night. He might even have a few nasty things to say such as, “I didn’t like it when you and (insert friend’s name here) were laughing together. What was so funny?” Do yourself a favor and maintain a strict, “Your friends are smelly jerks” kind of attitude around your guy. He’ll appreciate it.

So there you have it, ladies. 50 things every woman should know about guys

. More importantly, you now know how to react to those 50 things. Remember, men have delicate egos and are easily jealous of other guys – especially their good looking friends.

Also, although they love it when you do cute things like knit them sweaters or call them by their pet names; they don’t love it when you do such things in front of anybody else. Leave your girlfriends’ drama with the girls if you ever want your guy to listen to you again, and be prepared to have your kitchen ransacked when his bros are over. Keep these things in mind and you will have a much smoother relationship.