I am surrounded by a vast majority of female friends (male as well) that are single and have been for a very long time. They are in their mid-twenties and many have never even experienced a long-term relationship, not to mention something even more serious like living together or being engaged/married.
And why is that? Since I’ve been in a serious relationship for many years, I believe I have loads of things to say about that topic. I learned a lot. I made many mistakes and learned from them. I’ve been listening to my friends and observing their behavior and I noticed them doing some things that are completely wrong.
I am not sure if those mistakes were always the reason for a breakup in their relationships, but I am sure that there was the one thing that led to it – They were giving up way too soon.
These 10 things are an absolute no-no if you want a mature and sane relationship. Believe me, I’ve been going through all of them.
1) Don’t immediately start suffocating your man with your problems
The truth is when guys look for a girlfriend they don’t immediately think about all the baggage she carries with herself. They are attracted to a girl because of her sexiness, the way she talks, how many things they have in common, etc.
Men want to laugh, have fun, go on dates, have sex. They don’t want to immediately start listening to your problems that you have with your parents, health, school, work, etc. It is the harsh truth. It is normal to share everything with your boyfriend, but take some time before you start being too open with him.
2) Stop being so clingy and overly excited
Yes, you are happy that you’ve found a great guy. But, don’t let him know that. I am not saying that you should act like you are not interested and look pissed all the time. Just calm yourself down and don’t act like a crazy woman whenever you see him.
3) Keep off the social media
Many women make this mistake. When they start dating a guy, they immediately want the whole social media world to know that. They start posting things on their boyfriend’s Facebook wall, they tag him in every song or quote they post, they start posting selfies with him, etc. DON’T DO THIS. Men hate this. I even hate this. It makes you look too desperate.
4) Don’t act like a grandma
You are young and full of life. Act like that! Don’t be so overwhelmed with negative thoughts, with doubts about your future, be carefree for a moment. Don’t make a big deal out of stupid things, like what you’ll prepare for lunch or if he didn’t call you today. Your relationship should make you feel happy and alive not scared about what the future will bring.
5) Don’t nag him all the time
I noticed that many of my friends have a tendency to nag all the time to their boyfriends. Why haven’t you called, why haven’t you put the toilet seat up, don’t spill the food on the table, take your shoes off the couch, etc. You are not his mother and he doesn’t need another mother in his life. Let him be, let him breathe. Make him want to spend time with you, not run away from you.
6) Stop arguing with him
I know that it depends on the type of the person you are, but many women like to hold the grudge. I don’t know, maybe they think men will chase them more if they get mad at them all the time, but that is not true. We are not in high school anymore so there is absolutely no reason to ignore him or stop talking to him because he annoyed you with something. Be mature! Men hate when they have to apologize for everything they did.
7) Don’t play a victim
Men like to feel needed and useful. They like when women need some sort of help from them, it makes them feel like heroes. But there is a line between needing help and acting like you need it. You need to make a balance between being a girly girl and being a superwoman.
8) Let him live
We all need our alone time. We all need to spend time with friend, or family. We also need to be apart from our partners for some time. That way we’ll miss each other more and have other aspects of life besides each other. Don’t be mad at him because he wants to watch the game with the guys or because he will spend the weekend with his family. Don’t check on him all the time. Let him live and let yourself do something more with your life when he’s not around. He will be more than happy to come back to you and will love you even more.
9) Stop being jealous of everyone
Yes, I know, we all hate when our boyfriends have female friends. But that is a normal part of life. But remember, if you don’t see anything suspicious in their behavior then you’re good. If you notice that they are maybe too close, then you should check what it’s all about. Trust your gut!
10) Don’t just lay there
You know what I’m talking about. Sex is the most important part of every man’s relationship. I mean, he wouldn’t want you to be his girlfriend if he doesn’t want to take you to bed. If he didn’t want that, he would only be your friend. Don’t forget that! So, don’t be shy. We are all humans and we all have our fantasies. Show him what you like, relax and put fun into the bedroom.
But, be careful. Sex is the most important part and if it is not good, if he doesn’t please you or vice versa then it will be very hard to keep the romance going. That is why I always encourage people to be open-minded and to test the waters on time.
As you can see, it is not that hard. Be honest and tell me, how would you act if some guy did these stuff to you? Would stay with him or run away? Exactly!
Just one more thing. The infatuation lasts for a very short amount of time. That is why you have to be prepared for what comes next, and that is – the real life. Don’t immediately start being so serious and have fun while everything is still new and fresh in your relationship.