Want to know how to give a hand job? With our guide you’ll give him the best hand job of his life. Transform into a true seductress and make him beg for more.
I am a regular guy, and have had my fair share of hand jobs in my life. Over the years, I have figured out what makes a good hand job, a bad one, a great one and a fantastic one. I know what works and what doesn’t and why.
The intention of this article is to give you all of the advice and techniques that you need so that you can give the best hand job ever. I will cover everything you need to know in order to give the best hand job, and what the best hand jobs are so that you can please your husband or guy like no other girl can. If you are experienced or not, read our hand job for beginners guide and show him what you’ve learned. He will be obsessed!
Why to give a hand job?
Why a hand job, you ask? Great question. Well, basically, there is a time and a place for every sexual experience and, sometimes, a hand job is the best alternative. One of the main reasons is for convenience and discretion. A hand job can be done discreetly in the back of a car, for example.
When I was about 21, I remember going to the snow with my friends. The trip was long and boring. My girlfriend and I were in the backseat of the car, and she slipped her hand into my ski pants and started rubbing my member, right then and there without my other two friends even knowing!
It would have been a little bit more obvious that something sexual was going on if her head was bobbing up and down my crotch area, and she was making gagging sounds… But as it was, she kept right up with the conversation with everyone in the car as if nothing was going on!
I was both excited and in a state of shock and fear of being caught, but the truth is, I remember that hand job like no other because I was totally surprised by it. It was the best hand job ever, and it felt amazing, but perhaps that was mainly because of the shock and surprise. Basically, hand jobs are discreet and exciting.
The other thing about a hand job is that we get to be in the receptive mode – we get to receive. A hand job from a woman is a wonderful offer and gesture. It’s a gift. It’s hot. And, it is greatly appreciated because we are usually in the receiving mode and we cannot easily reciprocate.
What is better, hand job or a blow job?
Why would a guy want to get a hand job instead of a blow job? The truth is that he would probably prefer a blow job, but there are times when a blowjob is impossible and a hand job is perfect for the occasion. Also, a great hand job feels different to a blow job, and it is a different sexual experience for us. If done right, it can be right on par with a blow job.
Variety is the spice of life! Sure, a hand job is not quite as intimate as a blow job, but, done right, a hand job can be an amazing experience. It’s different. It’s direct. It’s intimate, and it can be fast and easy.
There is nothing wrong at all with mixing in a little oral with a hand job if you can. Actually, doing that can be highly erotic.
You can lick the tip of his penis during a hand job, or lick his scrotum or even his anus if you are feeling very adventurous. Just remember that it’s a hand job and not a blow job.
The secret of giving a great hand job
Secrecy is the hallmark of a hand job. Your boyfriend or husband has been doing his own hand jobs since he started puberty. During that time, if he wanted to keep his “dirty little secret” away from his mom and sisters or anyone else, then he had to do it in private.
This is why a hand job can be such a turn on for a guy to receive. To have a girl help us masturbate instead of doing it ourselves is a psychological thrill for us. It’s sharing our most intimate common pleasure with someone. Plus, getting a hand job just feels great. In the right hands, it can feel amazing and totally fantastic.
The best hand job I ever got was by a Tantra Goddess and when I climaxed, honestly, I felt like every cell in my body was having an explosive orgasm—that’s how good that was. That’s the potential for pleasure. How that was accomplished will be covered in the tips and tricks, so don’t worry.
There is a lot to cover regarding how to make this the best hand job ever, so let’s get right to it. One last word before we do: don’t be embarrassed if you don’t know how to give a great hand job. A lot of women don’t know. How would you know? It’s not like they give a class in school on how to do it.
So, give yourself a break.
What men like in a hand job?
Besides the secrecy, besides the thrill of it, besides the intimacy, what do we like in a hand job?
I think that what we like most of all is a woman who really enjoys it—a woman who can really get into it.
Can that be taught? Not really. It’s more about the attitude. It’s a choice. It doesn’t have to be taught. We can tell if you’re into it or not, and so your enthusiasm, interest and sensuality will make a big difference. I have had hand jobs by women who were not into it, and all it did was to kill the moment. The moment when I realize that the girl is not that into it, I want it to stop.
So, your attitude makes all the difference in the world. I would take a woman who knew nothing about how to give a hand job but enthusiastic and excited about giving it over a women who was amazing at it, but half-hearted about it.
The good news is that enthusiasm is a choice—choose to be excited about it and your guy will forgive any mistakes made. Of course, the best thing for a man is to have a woman who is both enthusiastic about it and knows what she is doing.
Now, all you have to do is to bring the enthusiasm because after reading this article, you’ll know exactly what to do.
The benefits of giving a great hand job
Have you heard of the statement, “Use it, or lose it?” Well, that’s true with masturbation. A hand job is a great way to give that penis in your life practice—practice and stimulation.
The other thing that is great about a hand job is that you don’t always have to make him climax. Edging is one of the techniques used in order to build the sexual arousal but not allowing the penis to ejaculate. More on that will be covered in the Tantra tip.
Whenever a guy gets a hand job but doesn’t climax, his sexual arousal increases, his body starts to create more and more sperm than normal and he feels energized and totally turned on. In eastern philosophical traditions like Tantra, men are encouraged to edge and not climax. Why? Because, in Tantra, the belief is that when a man climaxes, he loses his energy. Some Tantra men can go weeks and months without reaching the big O!
Don’t trade in your boyfriend for a Tantra guy just yet! Just realize that a guy can learn not to climax every time you whip out his penis. It’s an instant energy booster if you don’t let him orgasm.
How to Make Homemade, All-Natural Lubricant
If your boyfriend or husband is circumcised, then you definitely need lubricant. Even if your guy is not circumcised, you may want to use it anyway.
I never quite understood why men and women would use lubricant that has chemicals in it. Whatever you put on your guy’s penis is going to be absorbed right into his skin. In a pinch, any lubricant can do, but get yourself some that is all-natural. If you decide to give him a blow job, do you really want chemicals floating around in your mouth? That’s unhealthy and not good for either of you.
Here is an amazing recipe for the best all-natural cream/oil that you can imagine. One of my lovers created this and we actually tried selling it for a while.
Ingredients:
- Coconut Oil
- Shea Butter
- Small Cups
Here is the recipe:
- Combine two parts Shea butter and one part coconut oil in a pan and heat.
- When it cooks down to a liquid, pour it into tiny cups or any kind of holder.
- Put the cups into the refrigerator for approximately 24 hours.
To use, take one cup and let it get to room temperature. You will have an amazing healthy cream that you can use to masturbate with. The great thing about this recipe is that you will have a perfect cream that is not too oily and not too thick with a shelf life of months if not years. You can also add flavors to it. The good news is that it is totally edible, and actually good for both of you.
One warning about this lubricant, however. It will dissolve a condom because it is oil-based. So, don’t use it with condoms.
How to Create the Right Atmosphere for giving a handjob
Don’t let this tip fool you. What do I mean by that? Sometimes, the best hand jobs in the world are the spontaneous ones when you don’t have a chance to create the atmosphere. But, if you have the time, and it is something that you think he would really like, then take the time to do so.
Every guy is different, so you really need to know him well. I once had a girlfriend who was a massage therapist, and she made the hand job part of her massage at the end. It was amazing. I was beyond bliss by the end.
The Best Way to Give a Hand Job
Massage is probably the best way to give a hand job, especially if you are good at it. For me, this is what I really like. There is a very good chance that your guy will like this too, but you know him best. Adjust whatever you like to this suggestion, of course.
Get a massage table or use a bed. Get candles and only use that light. Play soft music meant for relaxing—music that you know he would like. You can give either a light touch massage or a deep tissue massage if you know how to give one. You could check out YouTube videos on how to give a massage if you don’t know how.
Have him lay on his stomach, and start massaging his upper back, his shoulders, his legs and finally his derriere. Use lubricant if you are doing deep tissue massage. After massaging his back areas, have him turn over and start massaging his feet, then his upper thighs, maybe his arms and then finally his penis. It should be hard by now and he’ll be ready to rock and roll!
There is another option that is very hot. If you are both into pornography, then get towels, put them in his favorite chair in front of the TV, and give him a hand job while watching this type of movie. This is another hot way to give your boyfriend or husband a hand job.
How to warm him up before a hand job
Kissing and fondling is a great way to warm up your boyfriend or husband for a hand job. But, you can start warming him up much earlier than that.
Try texting him when you’re not with him and tell him something like, “Babe, I’m going to give you the best hand job of your life tonight”. When you pre-pave the event, and get him involved early on, it will be a huge turn on for him. Start there, and follow your gut instinct as to how to turn him on more and more during the day. Guys don’t take nearly as long to warm up as women, but we still like to be teased, of course.
Best positions for giving a hand job
The truth about hand jobs is that they do take a lot of arm work. Make sure that the position that you use doesn’t strain your arm in any way because there is nothing worse than a woman getting too tired just before we shoot! You know yourself best, so take that into consideration.
The most common position is where he sits in a chair and you are positioned in front of him on your knees. Make sure that your knees can handle it. If not, get yourself a couple pillows or something soft to put underneath you. Other options include him on a massage table as already mentioned or with him standing up and you on your knees.
You could also get behind him and stroke him, but that is usually hard on the wrist. Try it out for yourself. Another position that he may like if he is open to it is to give him a hand job from behind while he is on all fours. You could slap his behind and show him who’s the boss! Whatever you choose, remember that hand jobs are fun, so have fun with it.
What you need to know about a hand job
Your guy’s penis is pretty darn tough. It can handle a lot of pressure and a lot of stroking. It can be slapped around some and squeezed pretty darn hard. But, that doesn’t mean that all of that feels good!
You have to know how to read his body language to see if what you are doing is painful for him or not. You want to keep the experience more on the pleasure side of things rather than painful. In general, though, the penis is a very tough organ that can handle a lot of use.
On the inside of his penis, the frenulum sits about two inches from the tip. Make the frenulum your friend! The lower you get on his penis, the less sensitive it is. The frenulum is very sensitive to stimulation as there are a lot more nerve endings there than the rest of the penis.
Foreplay for giving a great hand job
What is men’s biggest sex organ? His brain! It’s the same for women, so use it.
Foreplay really starts in the mind. It starts with you thinking about what you want to create with your boyfriend or husband. It starts with you texting him something naughty and sexy while he is at work.
If you are with him, foreplay involves kissing, petting, fondling, teasing, dirty talk and whatever else you can do in order to turn him on.
It is really the art of teasing. Men love it when women play hard to get or take their sweet time teasing us. That’s why strip joints are so popular. Everyone loves to be teased. So, tease him. Go with your gut instinct on this and you won’t go wrong.
Is eye contact important while giving a hand job?
Eye contact is very important for a hand job. Trust me: it makes a huge difference for us. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it, however.
When you look into his eyes, really get in sync with his emotions. Feel what it is that he is feeling. This ties into dirty talk too because dirty talk will really help to turn him on at this point. More on that later.
The point I am trying to make is to really get into it, especially towards the end. If you give him that eye contact and then increase the intensity in your eyes, your voice and with the pumping of your hands, he’s guaranteed to explode like never before.
Don’t be afraid to do this!
How to give an amazing hand job? Incorporate a dirty talk
Dirty talk is hot, but if your guy is rather religious, he may not like it that much. However, if he is not used to it, then it may really turn him on even if he is religious.
I used to be very religious and my wife at the time was not at all. I remember her being careful not to say certain things during sex. I don’t know how I would have felt at the time if she had gone off talking super dirty, but, honestly, it probably would have really turned me on regardless of my religious beliefs.
In general, guys love dirty talk. Some women worry that they may be viewed as easy or loose, but if you are in a relationship with him, it’s perfectly fine to be a little more open. I could understand that you may want to hold back if it’s your first sexual encounter with him, but the longer you’ve been in a relationship, the dirtier you should get.
How long should a hand job last?
There is no hard (pun intended) and fast rule about this. If you want to give him a quickie, then it could take only two minutes. It all depends on how much time you have, how long you can stroke his penis without stopping and where you are.
It depends on your guy. Is he a quick shooter? Then, he may be happy with a shorter amount of time. Does he take a long time? Then, he’ll be happy with however long it takes him. The length of time depends upon so many things. If you have the time, I would say that 10 to 15 minutes is a good amount of time to shoot for (pun intended again!).
The right grip for an amazing hand job
You can squeeze your guy’s penis pretty hard without hurting him. The right grip is different for every guy, so ask him. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he likes.
When I was with my first wife, she never really talked to me much about what I liked or didn’t like. I think she was worried that I might think that she was too easy—nothing could have been further from the truth!
Later, I had a girlfriend who was the exact opposite—she asked me all kinds of questions in the beginning to see what I liked. I thought that that was great, and I felt very comfortable asking her what she liked. She taught me things about her body and about women’s bodies in general that I never knew. For example, she taught me everything I needed to know about her clitoris and her g-spot.
So, regarding the grip: in general, you can squeeze that thing pretty darn hard! If you’re not sure, then ask. It never hurts to ask!
The right speed for a hand job
Again, the right speed for a hand job can vary from guy to guy as well as how much time you have. In general, the faster you go, the quicker he will climax. Sometimes, just as with women, if you go too fast and the pressure is too much, it may numb him though.
The bottom line is that you have to figure your guy out on your own. What does he like? Does his like it fast and furious? Or, does his like to savor the moment and enjoy the journey to ejaculation?
The perfect pace for a perfect hand job
The perfect pace is whatever pace he seems to enjoy. Again, look into his eyes for signs, and encourage him to tell you what he likes. When your guy feels comfortable telling you exactly what he likes, then he will tell you exactly what he likes! He may say things like, “That’s it! Oh yes. Keep going just like that, babe!”
Let him set the pace, but, at the same time, experiment with the pace. Try faster and slower, sensual or frantic. Don’t be afraid to try a different pace.
How to play with his testicles while giving him a hand job
Our scrotum is much more delicate than our penis. Don’t ever squeeze that part too hard because that could really hurt! However, it feels wonderful when a woman plays with testicles. Just don’t smack them around too much and you’ll be fine.
Roll his testicles around in your fingers and palm. You can also pull on his sack of skin—that doesn’t hurt and can feel great. Just do everything with moderation regarding his testicles. You can also pull on his testicles while pulling up on his penis, which creates a wonderful sensation. If he is standing, and you are really gentle, you can bounce his testicles up and down with the palm of your hand. You can also stretch them away from his penis, carefully, which also feels great.
Just because testicles are sensitive doesn’t mean that they should be ignored. Testicles love to be played with. Just be a little careful. Also know that you can use your fingernails gently on that area. It feels amazing—just be sure not to scratch him.
Hand job stroking styles
After making sure that your guy is well lubricated, there are a multitude of different ways to stroke him. One of the best ways is to stroke him with one hand while your other holds his testicles at the same time. There are many other ways, too. You can do it with one hand or two. You can twist both of your hands while stroking him, but make sure that you have enough lubricant.
You can also try holding the base of his penis while stroking his shaft, or rolling his penis between your hands like it is dough. Another approach is to take his penis in your hands with both thumbs on the inner side of his erect member. Then, massage the frenulum area (the top part) of the underside of his penis—up and down. Make sure you use enough lubricant though! Yet another technique is to try gently pulling on his testicles away from his penis as you stroke him. There are many different variations of stroking.
The most important thing to do is to see what he likes most. Don’t be afraid to experiment with him.
Should you incorporate anal play during a hand job?
If your guy is into it, add anal play into the mix. If you are bothered by what you may find there, do the anal play after he has showered or when you’re in the shower together.
Anal play can be very rewarding for your guy because the prostate gland is actually very similar to a woman’s g-spot. It feels great to have it stimulated by a woman who knows about it and who knows what she is doing.
If you are grossed out by it, don’t do it, or get yourself a pair of gloves and use lube that is water soluble. Here is how:
When you are in front of him, lubricate up one of your middle fingers really well. Slowly push your finger in and out of his anus, very shallow at first. Don’t ever try to slide it all the way in on the first push! Slide your finger into his anus slowly and deeper with every thrust, and then curl your finger towards you. Feel around for his prostate gland. It should feel like a soft almond. Rub the sides of it, and/or apply direct pressure on it without pushing too hard. See his response as you do this. He will probably be oohing and cooing like the princess that he really is! Kidding. (Sort of!)
It’s okay! We all have our masculine and our feminine sides, so let him enjoy it. Just because he likes it doesn’t mean that he’s gay or that he will start asking you if he can wear your panties and bra to work…
If he doesn’t like anal play, then you can play with the perineum area which is between his scrotum and his anus. Rubbing that area either deeply or lightly can be very arousing.
The WORST thing you can do during a hand job
What is the worst thing that you can do to a guy when he’s about to shoot all over the place?
Stop.
Don’t ever, ever stop when a guy starts to climax! Keep going. Keep that pace and speed going just like you had it going. Actually, if you could increase the speed just a bit when he starts to get to the point of no return, that would be perfect. Just keep going until you’re sure he wants you to stop.
How do you know when a guy is about to orgasm? His body will show signs of twitching and tightening. His breath will start to increase and get more breathy. His eyes will get more intense and focused. He may even tell you how close he is. Regardless, whatever you do, just don’t stop!
When he does actually start to climax, you can slow down just a bit to match his ejaculation shots. Then, pull his penis up and down with individual blasts quickly to match his ejaculation shot. Ejaculation is in sync to his muscle spasms from his prostate gland. So, if you can get into that rhythm, it will be a hand job that he REALLY remembers! But that’s rather advanced, and you might be better off just going fast until he’s done.
Once he’s done, realize that his penis is going to be overly sensitive, especially the tip. It doesn’t mean that you have to stay away from it, but some guys may want you to. Every guy is different with this, too. He may not want you to touch it at all, and so that may be a great time to clean up the mess.
How to make him orgasm more quickly
If you want to make him climax faster, there are a few things that you can do. The first is to talk REALLY dirty to him and act frantic—like you have to get his ejaculate out of him immediately—and the second is to stroke him really hard and fast. That’s just how it works. Don’t forget to focus on his frenulum while you stroke as this will help him to cum faster. You could also stroke him in an unexpected place where he HAS to cum quickly. The excitement of being in public and getting a hand job should help him to cum fast.
How to Make His Orgasm Last Longer
In Tantra, the way to get your guy to last longer is to stay in communication with him in regard to his arousal state. What is his arousal state? It’s how close he is to actually climaxing.
Try this: When you are stroking his penis, ask him to rate—on a scale from 0 to 10—how close he is to climaxing. When he gets to a 7 on this arousal scale, stop stroking him. Let him then come down to about an arousal state of a 3 or 4 before you start stroking him again. It should take just a minute of two. This is the secret of Tantra, and how to get a guy to have an amazing orgasm.
Like I said in the beginning, when I had that Tantra Goddess working on me, she did this exact thing with me. There was also a lot of touching and massaging beforehand.
Once you get your guy to a 7 on the scale, get him to an 8 the next cycle. On the next cycle, get him to a 9. On the final cycle of stroking him, finally let him shoot. If he is on a massage table, run your fingers all along his legs and body while he is having his orgasm. That will engage every cell in his body and he may have a full body orgasm!
I have to be honest with you: I have only had a fully body orgasm once in my life by this one Tantra Goddess lady, so don’t be disappointed if your guy doesn’t have one. But, now that you know that it is possible, why not have fun trying to give him a full body orgasm? It’s an amazing experience.
Hand jobs in the shower? Why not
Hand jobs in the shower can be very sexy and stimulating. The soap adds to the slippery, wet, sensual feeling and you don’t need any extra lube. The good news with the natural lube that I gave you is that it will last a while even when it gets wet. Regardless, a hand job in the shower has these and the added benefit of not having to worry about where your man’s cum lands because you’re already in the shower where it’s easy to clean it up.
Let him tell you his fantasies
The good news is that most guys don’t want to cheat. Cheating usually doesn’t start unless there is unhappiness in the bedroom. So, if you keep him happy in the bedroom and with the sex you give him, then he’s much less likely to stray.
This is where role playing comes in! Role playing is awesome because it allows you and your partner to fantasize without having to act it out. Role playing with hand jobs can be a lot of fun! You can pretend to be the naughty little vixen that he may already be fantasizing about.
It’s okay; all fantasy is okay. And the truth of the matter is that if you find out what his deepest, darkest secrets are and then play with it during role-playing; he’s going to be so happy that he has a woman who is so open and fun to be with. He’s going to love that he can tell you anything and that you don’t get mad or upset. Trust me on this. So, let the role playing begin!
Blindfold him while giving him a hand job
Blindfolds are a great way to take away his number one sense—his sense of sight. It will give you the power to do whatever you want, which can be very exciting for both of you.
When you use blindfolds, food can become much more erotic than normal because his sense of sight is gone. There are so many erotic things that you can do while he is blindfolded. You could put some whip cream on one of your nipples and let him lick it off. Or, you could slide a couple fingers into your wet, moist love tunnel, make him smell it, and then let him guess what it is—then make him taste it. Or, you could put chocolate syrup on any part of your body and let him lick it off.
Let your imagination run wild, but remember that this is a hand job. Of course, there is nothing wrong with it becoming more than just a hand job.
You could mix in one of the role playing sessions above and pretend that he’s a captive and your slave. He’s been blindfolded so he doesn’t know where he is. You’re a perverted woman prison guard who hasn’t had sex in years… Role with it! It’s amazing what a little blindfolding can do! Get creative and have fun with it.
How a Nuru massage can lead to an amazing hand job?
The word “nuru” comes from Japan and roughly means “slippery and smooth”. Basically, the techniques used in Nuru massage involves coating both giver and the receiver in lubricant and then rubbing the “client” in every sexually stimulating way possible with your body. This is an actual style of massage that is legal in Canada, Europe and Las Vegas! Nuru is a gel from Japan that is both odorless and tasteless.
The best way to do this massage would be to get your guy to lay on his stomach, mount him with your legs spread and then slide up and down his body. The thought of your vagina and derriere rubbing on him like this should really turn him on!
What is especially exciting is sitting on his behind and sliding all around on him. He will know what you are doing even though he is face down, and it will drive him crazy. Next, rub your entire body, including your breasts, up and down his back. He will want to turn over right away, but don’t let him. Finally, let him turn over and then mount his member, but don’t let him slide it in you. Mount his penis with your labia spread over his member, and rub back and forth, up and down his shaft without letting him enter you. The sensation will be wonderful for both of you, as will the urge to have full blown sex. Do all you can to not let him go there yet.
If you want, let him inside you towards the end, make him orgasm by just rubbing your vagina against his penis, or finish him off with a hand job. It will be a completely erotic, hot orgasm for him.
The absolute best way to learn how to give a great hand job
The best way to learn how to give your boyfriend is…Watch how he does it. He has had years of training! He knows what gets him off better than anyone. So, why not ask him if you can watch him so that you can learn what he likes? Be open to learning, and he will be more than happy to show you exactly how he does it.
Most common mistakes women make while giving a hand job
The first most common mistake is giving a guy a hand job when you aren’t really into it. If you’re not in the mood, then don’t do it – it’s as simple as that. The second most common mistake is stopping in the middle of the orgasm. That’s just torture for a guy, and he will probably grab his own mighty sword and finish himself off.
The third mistake is allowing yourself to get distracted. Some guys take a long time to orgasm, and if the phone rings and you stop to answer it, then the moment will be blown—no pun intended. Similarly, pay attention to how he is responding. When you don’t even care how turned on or he is (or isn’t), he’s going to notice and may even lose his erection.
Another mistake women make is not realizing their own limitations, and getting too tired. Let’s face it—stroking a penis for 20 minutes straight can get tiring! So, change hands and mix it up. Use your feet or something else. Get creative. Then, finish him off with your slippery, lubricated hands. Finally, don’t complain about how long it’s taking him to climax. That, too, can put extra pressure on him and make him completely self-conscious.
Stroke by stroke
There you go! 23 tips and trick on how to give your guy the best hand job ever. I hope you enjoyed it. There is always more to learn.
One thing that can definitely help you to further improve your hand job skills is reading Michael Webb’s detailed hand job guide: Stroke by Stroke. Believe it or not, it’s possible to give your man more pleasure with an awesome hand job than a blow job!
The more you know, the more enjoyable it can be.
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